Your Friends' Remarks

Say NO to home repossession!

2009-12-05T11:30:00.000-08:00

Everybody knows that a mortgage is a big financial commitment and we know how unpleasant it can be when it all goes wrong. Everybody knows someone who has lost their house or, worse, it happened to you. A decision made under pressure, is often a wrong decision and that could make things worse. For example, some have let themselves be persuaded to sell their home at a very low price.

Arrears and debts are the most familiar causes for a home repossession. For thousands of people this is a daily occurrence. Illness, death and injuries are other reasons for falling behind with mortgage payments and any other debts become a burden. In these situations, time truly is money. Making things right again takes experience, advice, commitment and strong connections. Things need to get done quickly and efficiently , i.e. a family is about to loose their house and with it, maybe the rest of their happiness.

For all of us, life is very precious and we don't want sudden upheavals to destroy it. Ignoring the signs will not make the problem disappear. Not taking action early enough is sure to end in the loss of your home. Do not take a risk that will harm your credit rating and destitute you and your family.

Get some help immediately! There are reputable firms of solicitors who will advise you on matters such as how to stop any repossession proceedings or help you find suitable alternatives that meet your needs and the needs of your loved ones. There are also non-profit making organisations set up to stop unscrupulous sharks buying your home for cheap with a pretence of selling or renting back to you. You can contact them at anytime and settle a first meeting (you might get a free consultation), just don't wait till it's too late!

They also give housing advice, in terms of your rights under housing legislation. If you have already lost your home and have young children, are sick or disabled or are elderly, then you may be entitled to assistance from your local council. You may become entitled to housing benefit or are entitled to some other form of help. Professional help might just save your life .

Remember that taking action early is a key factor in averting disaster. So, to get a fresh start and prevent the court appointed bailiffs coming to your home, contact the right people and organisation! NOW!

Speaking about the bailiffs, they can physically remove you from your home. They can use necessary force too enter the property and can remove anyone living there. But there are many people who don't know under what circumstances these things should happen and how bailiffs ought to handle the situation. Till you get somerepossession help or advise, we want to offer you some information about this, because it can happen... tomorrow. The bailiffs have to act reasonably and mustn't use unreasonable force. The locks will normally be changed to ensure you can't get back in, even if you are not in the property when the bailiffs arrive. If they think you might try to stop them from getting in, they can ask the police to be present, in case there is any disturbance. The police aren't allowed to help the bailiffs with the eviction, but can and will arrest anyone who is violent.

It is hard facing bailiffs and facing up to your problems takes courage. The first step is often the hardest part! Get some help to keep your home and stop repossession!

Help Stop Repossession is a non profit making site offering impartial advice about home repossession which allows you to make the correct choices concerning your own circumstances:http://www.helpstoprepossession.com

Discover your �Giving Bee� profile

2009-09-13T03:50:00.000-07:00

By: David Anttony

Bumblebees are all giving by nature. They give naturally to maintain the world of abundance. But each bee actually takes a different standing in maintaining the colony as well as the flower garden. So, I thought human beings are the same. We are all naturally giving and sharing. But we often express our giving in different ways. So, here it is a 'giving bee ' chart where you can find your bee type. Watch out for the following bee analysis! The more you share your value as a giving bees, the more we can do together to make a difference.

Bumblebee type analysis

1. Change-making bee A giving bee who likes to see change - who spots every opportunity to do something better and worthwhile. A change-making bee often starts up new amazing projects for others to participate in. A flexible thinker who can collaborate well with others while often taking a leadership position in making change. Many business leaders and creators are this type of giving bee. They are not afraid of having change.

2. Believing bee: A giving bee who believes in one core beliefs very strongly and inspire others to follow. Rather than changing all the time and being too flexible, this giving bee attracts people by being solid like a rock and integral to the unwavering belief and vision. Some of the religious leaders as well as political leaders are this type of giving bee. Believing bees makes for a great leader who attracts huge numbers of followers. This bee also can be a great follower who strongly supports an existing belief and excites others to come together.

3. Caring and nurturing bee: A giving bee who may not stand out as a strong leader but actually are the biggest heart-focused givers. A caring and nurturing bee is egoless in giving and is always first to take the giving action when seeing anyone in need. Though this bee seems gentle and caring, the strong desire to give and care for others drives this giving bee to present some unimagined giving acts. Many people who dedicate their lives to giving (volunteering, community service etc) are this type of bee. Giving comes more natural to them.

4. Supporting and uniting bee: A giving bee who sees the largest value in uniting and cooperating in effective partnerships. This giving bee is very focused on looking for existing great ideas, mechanisms, philosophies or beliefs to benefit the community. It tends to support what resonates with him/her more often than coming up with a brand new way. A supporting and uniting bee is less attached to own way and has more flexible mind while being quite strategic about what to support. Rather than taking immediate action emotionally, this bee sees the value in creating the long-term unity. Long-term 'quiet' charity givers and those who take low profile in community giving but stick to the same project for a long time are often this type of bee.

Buy1GIVE1 or B1G1 ( www.buy1-give1free.com ) is the home of the most powerful, impactful and change-making giving process in the world. Buy One Give One (BOGO) is now a global 'movement' bringing together businesses, charities and consumers in a way that has simply not been done before.

Love - The Secret to Manifesting Abundance

2009-09-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

In times of great economic fluctuations and uncertainty, it is our nature to contract, pull in, look for cover, and try to ride out the storm. We often wait and try not to make changes, holding on tight to our present way of life until the storm passes. If we know that a storm will only last for a day or two, we are confident that we can ride it out. But even when the world is in a period of great change and the storm has no end in sight, pulling in, contracting, holding tight and waiting is still not the best way to deal with the situation at hand.

There is an old saying that "God never closes a door without opening a window." But if you are pulled in, holding on and hiding, it is hard to see exactly where a window is from which you can fly.

When you are not sure what to do or where to go, begin by going inward and examining not only where you are, but how you got there and who you became in the process. This is a time when you must look to yourself to see where you are on your "How much do I love myself?" meter. Follow that up by checking in on how much you really loved the life you were living before the storm.

When the duties and activities that have been constantly sucking in your time and energy suddenly seem to have either gone away, are no longer available, or are no longer practical, recognize how their absence has given you back the wonderful gift of time.

How often in the past, did you complain because you never had the time to do the things you wanted to do? If it wasn't work, your time was over committed because of family, personal, social, or business obligations. For many, with the tightening of the economy, those obligations are no longer affordable. Tough choices had to be made, or were made for you. The question is - what are you going to fill that time with? Look around, maybe you are not the only one that suddenly has more time. Is your life partner more available as well? Are your children no longer taking as many lessons or participating in after school activities five days a week? Or maybe it's a good friend or a treasured sibling. Yours is not the only world that is changing in all this upheaval, so who can you spend more "together time" with?

Think back on when you were a child and the things you loved to do, when the world was not quite so chaotic. Is it a discovery time? Now you have more time not only to explore yourself and your neglected interests, hobbies and passions, but the people who are important in your life. Sure, you can all sit around with your family or friends and take turns complaining about how unfair everything is and then do mind numbing activities like sit around and zone out to the TV, or you might all go into your respect corners to play games on the computer with occasional breaks to complain how unfair it is, but why would you want to? Doesn't sound like much fun, does it? Or you can take this opportunity, as you learn yourself, to teach your children, how to deal positively with tough times. You can discover ways to have fun, be connected and enjoy yourself - ways that cost nothing more than time and effort.

The more you are able to rediscover your passions, learn to love yourself and love others in new, different and more intense ways, and allow yourself to see where your passions take you, the more you will discover that abundance, in many different and unexpected ways, will start to flow into your life.

Release your attachments as to how things need to look, or should look, so that you can see all the different windows of abundance and the many opportunities the Universe is offering you.

Love, love, and love more, in all of its flows and all of its aspects, and within those flows, you will find the flows of abundance.

Go find a window.

Dr. Kevin Ross Emery is a popular author, psychic, coach, consultant and teacher. Dr. Kevin travels internationally, offering lectures and workshops to empower people from all walks of life. He's also available for phone (and Skype) consultations. Dr. Kevin's primary practices are in Portland, Maine and Haverhill, Massachusetts. Join Dr Kevin on his weekly radio show: "Outside the Box with Dr Kevin" at http://www.weboflight.com.

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Five Ways To Turn Sports Into Team Building Games For Everyone

2009-09-11T05:40:00.000-07:00

Sports have incredible potential as team building exercises, but they also carry challenges with them. Some people are natural athletes, but others are uncomfortable with returning to sports they might not have played since high school. The Xpeerience Group runs sports-based team building activities out of extensive facilities in Toronto’s harbor lands, including two full-sized sports fields with artificial turf. The team development group suggests five techniques to turn ordinary sports into team building games that reward cooperation as much as they do athletic star power.

Childhood Games: For older players, returning to childhood games can level the playing field, as each player will be relatively rusty. Popular team games include tag, capture the flag and dodge ball. One way to lessen the sting of being taken “out” is to change the rules so that it’s possible to bring players back regularly. For example, the “jail” system (where captured players stand in a designated area, but can be released by approaching players) can be adapted to many different games.

Cooperative Rules: All sports reward athletic ability but a few are structured so that in amateur play, a few athletes can easily dominate play. Soccer forwards (or “strikers”) can rule the game in pairs, and everyone’s experienced what a “heavy hitter” can do to a baseball or softball game. The solution? Change the rules to reward cooperation. In thrown or kickball games, add rules that require a certain number of passes to different players before scoring is allowed. In softball or baseball you can change the rules to make the pitcher a member of the batting side’s team, so that both sides cooperate to get the best hit at bat possible.

Giant Hobby Games: Once you make a traditional board or hobby game big enough it might just turn into a sport! The Xpeerience Group regularly guides teams through “supersized” versions of classics like Jenga and Connect 4. This moves the game slightly into the realm of athletic activity, but not so much that one person can confidently dominate it. In fact

Mix Teams: When it doubt, mix up the teams? This tries and true team building method is an excellent way to create a relaxed, cooperative atmosphere to any team sport. Trade half of each team with the other at the halfway point and you’ll not only get a more diverse mix of people, but you’ll maximize opportunities to socialize and prevent people from taking the game too seriously.

Unusual Sports: One way to encourage cooperation is to make every player equally unfamiliar with the rules. You can do this by choosing an obscure team sport (Wikipedia has descriptions of several) or be creating a truly off the wall variation of a standard sport. For example, the Xpeerience Group uses a game where each side tries to collect as many bandannas (tucked in players’ belts or a similar location) as possible.

Whatever you do, your goal it to get people talking, working together and having fun together – never at the expense of any single player.

The Xpeerience Group is a corporate team building games and team development group located in Toronto, Ontario. To inquire about Xpeerience Group services, visit xpeeriencegroup.com/contactus or email info@xpeeriencegroup.com.

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Safety Tips for free online dating

2009-09-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

Online dating or Internet dating are very popular these days. But online dating has the advantages of its own, it's been misused by many and has its own disadvantages too. Online dating is fun and convienent but still one has to be very careful while dating with someone she hardly knows. Here are some tips which may help you to be safe in online dating.

Start slow.

While you are starting a new online dating over the internet, watch out for someone who seems to be good and true. Begin your online dating by communication through Emails. Before Emailing any person besure that your inner instinct is comfortable with the personal ads or online dating profiles. First send a message for the person whom you are interested, Read well and get to know more about them through their online dating profile. During the communication through emails watch out for the odd behavior and inconsistencies. Listen to the correspondent's words in email. In Online dating you must listen to each and every word carefully. Remember the person whom you communicate may not be real. So trust your inner Instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable walk away from that person for your safety.

Guard your personal:

During the online dating process never include your full name, your real email address (if possible create a seperate email address for online dating purposes). Don't give any of your personal details like home address, telephone number, work place or any other identifiable information about you. During email communication be careful about your signatures, because they have your personal details. If possible disable them. Stop communicating with the members who are insisting you for these information or trying to trick you to reveal these informations. Take time to become comfortable with someone before revealing the personal informations. Ask a lot of questions and be sure that the answers are satisfying and without any other second thoughts and meanings.

Caution and common sense.

Careful decisions generally lead to better results in dating, and this is very true with online Dating too. During the initial stages of online dating, trust yourself and never trust others. A person will become trustworthy through constant honorable, forthright beheavior. You need to test the person and take time for these before you trust the him/her, and pay careful attention along the way. Be conservative before you trust anyone in online dating. If you think someone's lying, it is likely that he/she is, so act accordingly.

Request for a Photo.

A photo will give a good idea about a person's appearance, which may prove its claims. Never trust a person by just a single picture, try to get more pictures of various locations background and poses. If the person comes up with constant excuses then the person has something to hide from you.

In online dating our safety is in our hands and mind. If our mind is not trusting others then better move to those whom we trust.

This free dating safty tips was taken from match.com. Read more articles on our dating articles,friendship articles sections.

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The Secrets of Talking to Women

2009-09-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

Men really tend to struggle when it comes to talking to women. Tongues get tied and the brain cells start to die off the instant they try to engage a woman in a conversation. Learning how to talk to women is like learning any other aspect of dating. You need to be willing to try, fail, and try again.

For the most part, you need to give up cheesy pick up lines. Women can see right through these and know that you're not actually trying to talk to them, just pick them up. When you're learning how to talk to women, it is okay to have an opening statement or question on hand, but that isn't the same thing as having a list of quick pick up lines in your pocket. Know what you're going to say before you say it.

Think of talking to women as having a conversation, because that is all that it is. With a good attitude and a little bit of humor you can actually talk to women about anything at all. Have some confidence as this is more important than what you say. Smile. A lot. Walk upright and feel genuinely good about yourself, because these things translate back and forth into how you come off to others. Confidence and happiness are two of the most attractive features in a man, and it can make talking to women much smoother.

Don't be overconfident, aka pushy. Give her the room to decide whether she wants to talk to you. Give her physical room and don't hover waiting for answers. Be a good listener and be gracious even in the face of negatives responses.

Women like compliments and attention, but they like to be listened to even more. They will pick up on whether or not you are listening to them. If you base your responses on listening to her, she will notice and chatting with her will become a much easier experience.

We wish you the best of luck in your dating adventures!

Doug Hosein is a blogger, and all-around knowledge-junkie with a wide range of interests. He has been following the dating industry for years now and has written dozens of articles on the subject. You can view many more informative advice articles at http://www.Online-Dating-Tips.info/

2009-09-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

If there is one objective shared by everyone in this world, whether he/she is a professional or a common man/woman, it is improving interpersonal skills. It is a bit odd that a human being should find dealing with a fellow human being a challenging task! But that is the reality of life. A famous person once remarked "I can achieve anything in this world, if only I don't have to deal with human beings!"

You may winder why the task of improving interpersonal skills should pose such a great challenge. What can be so complicated about it? This is a question that defies a ready answer. We can try to find an answer to this question by looking at the two fundamental truths about human beings.

1) All human beings are the same.
2) Each human being is different.

Any one will immediately see a contradiction. But this should be considered a paradox, rather than a contradiction. After every paradox can be real. Only, it needs to be explained.

Any attempt at improving interpersonal skills should recognize these two fundamental truths. The first task is to reconcile these two apparently divergent concepts? The statement 'All human beings are the same' conveys the fact that each and every action of a human being has a motive behind it. The motivating factor can be a need, a desire, an impulse or a reaction. The other statement, 'Each human being is different' points to the fact that the motivating factors will be different for different people. Two human beings may not be motivated by the same objective. One may do something for fulfilling a need. And another may do the same thing as an expression of his emotion (a reaction.)

The first step in improving interpersonal skills is to understand what motivates every one. How can one find this out? You need to sharpen our sense of observation. Observe a person's behavior, seek to understand it in terms of what motivates him/her, verify the correctness of your understanding through more observations and based on the results of the verification, either confirm your understanding or modify it. If you have to modify your understanding, you need to go through the verification process again till your understanding is confirmed.

Parthasarathy Rengaswami is a trainer in the area of Personality Development, which comprises several aspects like Communication, Creativity, Attitude Development, Improving Interpersonal Skills, Goal Setting, Memory Development, Public Speaking etc.

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Boost your Mood with Essential Oils

2009-08-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

Do you often or occassionally feel sluggish or drained? Are you quite disturbed by recent hitches or maybe you’re just in need of an emotional boost. The scent of essential oils could be just the shot-in-the-arm you need.
It’s general knowledge that smell saturates our emotions and affects our feelings. “Good” smells can lift our spirits, while “bad” smells can yank us downhill or even upset us. As a matter of fact, the French word sentir means “to smell” and “to feel.” We have a propensity to “feel” scents rather than process them logically —understanding them more through associations and images than by rational methods. It’s because the human brain processes smells in its limbic region, which is principally responsible for our emotions. Amusingly, the limbic system is regularly called the rhinencephalon or “smell part” of the brain. Studies show that emotion and odors are directly related and have been established to generate some of the same electrical impulses.

Essential oils incorporate natural phytochemicals that bear impression on the limbic system. When you inhale the scent of an oil, the brain releases various neurochemicals to create physiological changes in body, mind and spirit. When you smell lavender, for example, serotonin gets released, producing a calming influence in the body.
Pure essential oils are extracted directly from plant parts, including flowers, leaves, stems and roots, as well as the rind of their fruits. Outside of their direct healing properties these oils simply smell good, make us feel happier and serve as great stress and pain relievers. The easiest and most common way to benefit from their essence is through aromatherapy—placing a few drops of diluted oil directly on your skin and inhaling the aroma. (Note: always cut the essential oil with a base oil—see suggestions below.) Or you can add drops to your bath or to a special aromatherapy diffuser, which heats the oil and allows the smell to permeate the room. Choose from a multitude of oils, ranging from bergamot (Citrus bergamia), which has a balancing effect, to sandalwood (Santalum album), which is known for its sensuous properties.

So the next time you feel the drain and slug, take this friendly advice- mend your mood with the smell of essential oils.

Giving Honest Friendly Remarks

2009-08-27T06:12:00.000-07:00

Do you often struggle to give candid remarks to people? Or, do you always have the guts to give remarks to others honestly? They say that pretentious remarks are loud and easy while sincere comments are often kept secret or whispered subtly. Because real friendship is a silent relationship between individuals who value each other, honesty in opinions regarding your friends should be expressed in private or forever be silent. But there are risks in relationships. If you really value the other person, you have to somehow get your truth across.

Being truthful with your friends can be easier said than done at times. When you are confronted with a topic that could possibly end your friendship, you hustle between telling the truth and avoiding the truth to spare their feelings. Being straightforward with your friend becomes a tug of war of morals and salvaging what you are afraid to unveil. Here are some realistic approaches to overcome this dilemma:

Relationships are about levels of commitment or as they say in the business world your SLA (service level agreement). Remind your friends that you respect them enough to let them know the truth even if it hurts. Emphasize that your true friends tell you things you don't want to hear to save them the embarrassment of discovery from those who want to conspire against them. At times your friends will not take well your candor. Respect the way they perceive what you have to say to them and don't judge their response to you. Allow them to feel mad or upset or frustrated. Being a good friend is being honest and then being there for your friend when that honesty becomes a blow to his ego.

Keep in mind that honesty is the baseline for all healthy relationships because it gives rise to trust and trust eventually builds respect. At times it might be hard to tell your friend the truth, however if you phrase it in a manner that shows real concern and respect, you will most likely receive a warm positive feedback rather than a cold defensive response. Because people always seem to ask others about personal issues, sometimes being honest with them can come across as being mean. But if you want to help someone without being harsh you should read and try some of these tips. They will surely help your friend and also help keeping that friendship.

You should always be honest with your friend or partner at all times. This will help you gain trust with each other and will let the other know that you really care about each other.
Make sure you take into consideration the type of friend you are talking to when giving your opinion. If you know that he or she is sensitive about others opinions you should be careful about how you express yourself.
Always give the person CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Try not to be brash and give deconstructive opinions. If they just did a show or song and they want to hear your opinion always say something like, "That was good, it really was, but..." Never tell the person that it was downright awful or just try something different. Some call it tough love but it is really being down right mean.

A Happiness Poem

2009-08-24T01:06:00.000-07:00

If a happiness poem could bring forth a smile,
Then my face would always dress in style.

If my ears could hear my computer screen,
From one to another, they, too, would grin.

My keyboard types for my eyes not my tongue
This happiness poem will never be sung.

But what of my eyes? Don't they shine?
Yes, but not from this poem of mine.

The pen is mightier than the sword,
But a pen can write only words.

The feelings I sense and the senses I feel
For keyboard and screen remain far too real.

My ears and my nose remain at rest.
My cheeks and hairline are doing their best.

But if this happiness poem could make my mouth smile,
My face would forever dress up in style.

Author: David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

Ask Yourself: How Do I Want To Live?

2009-08-17T11:41:00.000-07:00

Here is the usual question we ask kids around us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Of course you remember that question well. And the expected answers would be given: a nurse, a policeman, a scientist, a doctor, a President, an engineer, a businessman, superhero, etc. The fact is that people have varied exposures, interests and talents. Somebody may be just as contented being an architect as a teacher. But then, I suppose the better question to raise is "How do you want to live?" Do you want to live in a manor or a cottage? Do you want a sports car or mountain bike? Do you want to live in the metropolis, in the countryside, on a farm, on a high-rise condo? The consequence here is that you have to choose what you want to do by establishing your response on how you want to live your life. Generally, people do get hold of what they ask and work for. Actually, I just stumbled upon an old friend from high school who was my lab partner in biology. He wanted to be a podiatrist, which was great since I really didn't want to dissect that swine. He did everything. Guess what he's doing today? Okay, he's not a podiatrist, but he is a neuro-surgeon. He became a doctor nevertheless. My other friend always wanted to be in the construction and now he owns a very flourishing construction firm. The next one used to hang around internet cafes, now he is in the online business - a web developer and online marketer. Think backwards and you will most likely find out that most people, who pursued what they wanted, realized their aspirations. Therefore it's so crucial to have the right goals. Pursue dreams that will give you the future you want with your career. But do not forget something that's equally important - the quality of your off-time and family life as a man or a woman. If you really love helping people, teaching children, doing social work, or being a camp counselor, that's wonderful and grand! But if you, at the same time, want to live in a huge house by the shore, then you will be dissatisfied that the teacher salary isn't going to let you live in that manner. It's a blend of what you want to do and how you want to live. Pick one of the things that you love to do, that will pay for how you want to live. As you strive towards your dream, keep on asking yourself: How do I want to live my life? There's greener trend that draws your real aspirations to your best self.

True friends are not dream-slashers

2009-08-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

The secret to choosing the right friendships for you,
starts with a short friendship poem by The Happy Guy

Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain't.
Friendship is life's great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you down with doom and gloom?
You will know a friendship is true
When it brings out the best in you.

It's true. You can tell a person by the company she keeps. Our friendships not only tell a lot about who we are -- they make us who we are.The friendship poem above says it all. You will know a friendship is true when it brings out the best in you.

Take a look at your friends. Do they bring out the best in you? That might seem like a silly question. We all tend to think, "Of course they bring out the best in me. I wouldn't be friends with them otherwise."

But stop and think why you are friends. Here are a few common reasons why people become friends:

Common background, sharing a comfort level in company from "the same side of the tracks".

Common current situation, being able to discuss parenting, home renovations, or some other major life circumstance.

Common interest, such as cards, bowling, hunting, etc.

For shy people, a person who actually approached you is a candidate for friendship.

For leaders, somebody who seems content to follow is a likely candidate. Somebody you spend time with anyway, such as a colleague, sibling, etc, often becomes a friend.

Somebody you see frequently anyway, such as a neighbor, store clerk, etc, could become a friend.

These are just a few reasons people choose friends. It is the easy, natural way, but it is not always in our best interest. Sure, we should always want to get along with colleagues, neighbors, siblings, and anybody else.

But we should choose our friends, the people we open up to, very carefully. For instance, even a sibling can bring you down, pooh-pooh your dreams and load you up with negativity. "Ha! You think you can teach? What do you know about teaching?"

Even well-meaning friends can be dream-slashers. "Oh, do you really think you should go into business for yourself? I mean, what about security?"

On the other hand, some friends have a way of building up your dreams. "Go for it! You could really do well. And at worst, you'll at least have given it your best shot!"

Friends will often lend a hand. "Gee, I don't know much about fitness, but is there any way I can help you reach your goal?" Dream-slashers usually don't. "Hey, if you insist on pursuing this crazy scheme, leave me out of it."

A true friendship should:

Encourage you to live your dream.

Support you toward your goals.

Sympathize for your losses and help you find a silver lining.

Build your self-esteem.

If happiness and life-satisfaction are your goals, your friends should be chosen on the basis of how well they can accomplish those four goals. Happiness is a personal choice that comes from within. But, as my short friendship poem says, it sure doesn't hurt to have supportive friendships that help us achieve our goals.

Author: David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

Nurturing Self-Confidence

2009-08-07T05:08:00.000-07:00

A lot of people lack coolness when dealing with other people... and for some, any structure of social situation can be awfully complicated. Social contact whether it be work-related or personal life can be stressful making you extremely uneasy and unable to function the way you usually do. For some reason, we don't always know what to say when we meet new people. It's therefore, explicable that you might lack confidence in your encounter with new people. Choosing to take control and take action is a key to renewing confidence. It doesn't have to be immense and chilling like parachuting or white water rafting; small steps on a regular basis will have a major positive impact on your life.

Take a deep breath or a number of deep breaths. This will help calm you down and think about the situation before you react so you won't react in a way that you will regret later. It also gives you a moment to think about how you would like to proceed next when you are in a stressful situation. It will also help your heart and blood pressure slow down. I then feel more confident, happier, relaxed and better able to cope with the situation at hand.

Bring companions when you have to meet new people. You will probably feel much better about meeting them if you have a friendly face beside you, because you already know that your friend knows and likes you for who you are, so it softens the potential blow of being rejected by these new people. With a friend by your side, it doesn't matter what these new people are like; you will still have at least some support.

Be with people who make you feel good and appreciate you - minimize the time you spend with those who pick on your faults and weaknesses. Building self-confidence also means taking care of you. Identify activities which make you feel good; i.e. time out for coffee, a long walk, a round of golf. Then make time to make it happen.

Tackle small risks each day - do something which you wouldn't normally do. Visit a cybercafe shop or go to see a film on your own, try out a new recipe or speak to someone in a supermarket queue. These small, positive actions will build your confidence

Write a personal journal or weblog. You can write anything you want in them. You can write down the different things that happen to you throughout the day. You can write about the things that you are grateful for and that you accomplished. You can write down inspirationally quotes or favorite sayings. You can write whatever you want. I personally like to write down things that I accomplished like a success journal. I also like to write down inspirational quotes that will make my life better, motivate me when I am in a rut, or things that make me feel happier and more self confident. Lastly, I like to write down the things that I am grateful for.

Friendship with Your Ex – Does It Work?

2009-08-04T05:44:00.000-07:00

When a romance crumbles, it sucks. But after the painful knock down, you stand up and come to your senses, realizing that you may be better off without the guy/gal. However, you have known each other so well and both of you may not be ready to relinquish that friendship. Or maybe, the man or woman or both is secretly wishing for a reawakening.

Well, there has to be some way to maintain wholesome friendship with someone who was once romantically linked with you. Those who were able patch things up as friends gave these pointers to consider:

Be honest with your feelings -- and make sure he/she is, too. Becoming just friends with an ex is a knotty situation, particularly when one of you is still carrying a torch for the lost love. If one person can't abandon the old feelings they have for the other, whether it's love, hatred, jealousy, resentment or lust, you run into a problem when trying to stay friends. Even if you're able to get along after you break up, the friendship itself is not true and genuine because of those leftover feelings.

Reflect on the reasons and manner of your breakup. Sometimes you can be friends -- in the long run. But when the gash of a hostile clash, double-cross or cold-hearted dumping is still fresh, the very last thing you could do with is to attempt to be pleasant to the perpetrator. And if you're the one who broke a heart, don't look forward to her/him to want to hang around with you as friends. If it didn't end up in a melodramatic fashion, the friendship can often rekindle somewhat soon.

Discern your motives for friendship. It's essential to ponder on the pros and cons of this friendship actually working. Sometimes the motivation for friendship isn't really healthy: You want some kind of justification for all the years you spent with the relationship, or you think lessen the guilt about moving on, or you're still fixated on him/her. Maybe it is better to let go of the memory altogether than work on a friendship that will hold you back later.

Sometimes, you can remain civil and friendly, but being friends in the long run just doesn't work. Somewhere down the road both of you will end up in a new connection. When you have had an intimate relationship with a person, the boundaries of the friend zone have been breached and you can't just go back to pretending like you were never lovers, which isn't fair to your new love, in case.

Share your experience: Do you think it's possible to maintain a friendship with an ex? Have you tried it? How did it work out? Does financial status play a role? Does shopping help you totally forget the idea? Shed some light and share your encounter…

5 Tips on Fostering Curative Love

2009-07-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

The revitalizing and healing properties of true love can only be figured out through a first-hand experience of the splendor and flash of falling in love. Real love puts elating bounce in your steps and that seemingly eternal radiant smile on your face. For most lovers, the sight of their beloved fills their heart with peace and warmth. Regardless of the time spent together, two people can truly be soulmates. Just one of those warm embraces can melt away the stress and tension of a day and invigorate a person in love almost instantaneously.

Maybe I’m the last of the romantics. But I believe that love really makes the world go ’round. Perhaps or for certain, most of the world’s problems are set off by lack of love, either toward somebody or within, toward oneself. The intrinsic connection between emotional pain and illness have been researched by leading mind-body researchers and physicians such as Dr. Ornish who in his book, Love and Survival, says, “I am not aware of any other factor in medicine that has a greater impact on our survival than the healing power of love and intimacy. It is not diet, not smoking, not exercises, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery.” In a study of heart-disease patients who were unmarried or had no significant confidant in their lives, there was a 300 percent increase in mortality compared to those who had a spouse or close friend to turn to for support. That, however, doesn’t indicate that if you are single and a loner you’ll have a heart disease, nor does it suggest that if you are married, your heart is out of harm's way. It does confirm the power of intimate relationships and love between people, whether those people are spouses, partners, friends, family, or confidantes. It also doesn’t imply that you can eat whatever you desire and disregard exercising. Love has the strongest curative properties when it counts healthy eating and fitness as its allies.

Love can be the most powerful force in the universe. It is a fundamentally relevant element of human life that is as ambiguous as there number of people, men and women, who tread its road. But it wouldn’t be too much, I suppose, if I say it is everything. Whether it is between two people or about learning to love oneself, love has the power to transform ugliness into the purest essence of beauty. It also has the power to recharge, revitalize, and transform people into better versions of themselves. Now, here are 5 tips to foster that curative love:

Learn to love yourself and reach out to others. This may take time and practice. Be creative and recognize what you really need. Protecting your heart from pain only serves to build walls around it and makes it more vulnerable to heart disease. Reach out to others.
Forgive yourself and forgive others. This is certainly easier said than done. It takes practice of knowing your limitations and a lot of soul-searching. Holding onto grudges only serves to hurt you. Write out your grievances and destroy the paper. Alternatively, paint, sculpt, or draw to express your feelings so you can be free from them.
Nurture a spiritual practice and nurture your relationships. Recognizing yourself as a spiritual being with a human existence can help you to feel more connected to the world and other people. It can also help you establish greater meaning in your life. Don’t be afraid to do something nice to the ones you care for. Call someone just to say “I love you,” take some homemade soup to someone who hasn’t been feeling well, invite a neighbor over for an herbal tea, give an unexpected card…the list of possibilities is endless.
Find things to appreciate in your life and stop to smell the roses. You may write daily in your “gratitude journal” about all the things you were grateful for. Share to others that day’s entry about being grateful for meeting someone. As you approach your own life with a positive attitude, you also put a smile on someone’s face too. Do not hurry, slow down. In this fast-paced world where tome is gold, this usually requires effort but this can be done. If you make your work the first priority…it will manifest in your health. Flip things around, put your health up top and make time to enjoy the simple things in life like flowers, friendships, beautiful music, or a bubble bath.
Love your body by treating it well and let people know how you feel about them. Unhealthy habits and attitudes demonstrate a lack of love for oneself. If you love your body feed it nourishing food. Exercise and practice meditation or deep breathing. If you don’t love your body or aren’t sure if you do, turn to other people. Sure, your husband, wife, child, parents or friends may know you care for them and yourself, but I’m sure hearing about it would do wonders. Muster some courage and express your loving thoughts and feelings. It gets easier with time.

RSVP - Where have all the manners gone?

2009-06-20T05:30:00.000-07:00

Several decades ago in a far past culture, ladies and gentlemen adhered to a set of behavioral protocols known as etiquette. Ladies curtsied; men bowed. Ladies called in the afternoon to pay neighborly respects to one another and drink tea. Gentlemen dipped their fingers in little bowls of water between courses of moist and juicy food. The rules of etiquette served to keep people friendly and respectful of one another in daily life.

Modern culture, just like acid eating metal, puts individual interests and desires ahead of outgoing concern for other people. Soon the habits of good manners are no longer taught and become forgotten altogether.

Etiquette, or manners, today is jeered at for being selective, pretentious and inconsistent. It's true that most people no longer use finger bowls at nightly family dinners, but the basic purpose of good manners survives: Doing to others what you would have them do unto you!

Urgent Situation on RSVP

How do we get the reduced, banished remnants of etiquette back to the mainstream of society? Let's begin with a definite exercise in basic manners that everyone will be able to fulfill: the lost art of RSVP! As a way to help make your friendships last, put into practice this important aspect of etiquette.

Such strange collection of letters is normally seen at the bottom of a written (e-mail or paper letter) invitation to a special event. It is a holdover from the days when French was the universal language instead of English. RSVP stands for répondez s'il vous plaît, which is French for "please respond."

All that is required is that you respond to the person who invited you as to whether you will be able to attend the event or not. This can be done by returning the card enclosed with the invitation, by a phone call or by a note of your own. Electronic invitations are more simplified; click on a respond button at the invitation Web site or send an e-mail.

RSVP also means that the person requesting it desires an accurate count of who will be attending his or her function. By answering promptly, you are being respectful and helpful to those who organize the activity, which will allow for better planning. Good manners are beneficial to others and also to each of us. Of course, be careful with whom you will be with – he or she might not be invited or counted.

Stationery etiquette

Receiving and sending e-mails is fast, fun and practical, but writing a note on paper or in a card in your own handwriting means more. It communicates to recipient that you respect him or her enough to take the time and effort to sit down, choose a card or paper, think about the person who invited you, come up with a message and write it in your own hand. In this way you have given more of yourself and your time than it would have taken to click out a message on the keyboard. Therefore, it is more personal.

Therefore, the next time you receive an invitation to a wedding, party, shower, formal dinner or picnic, and you see RSVP, respond promptly. If you have extra time, do it by a handwritten note to show that you appreciate and respect your friends.

What Makes Men Fall in Love with You

2009-05-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Are there some particular moments, situations or events that make a guy unexpectedly fix on "Yes, I love her"? Oh, the answer is ambiguous, although there are some wide-ranging principles. Men have certain inherent wants that must be attended to prior to having a real connection with woman like you. When a guy concedes, knowingly or not, that you're perfect on all these levels, that's when he'll hand over.

Men have four primal relationship desires that are sometimes satisfied by your tiniest moves. When your guy is at the brink, these little things would tip him over that edge.

Seek Protection
Keeping you from harm makes him feel completely a man, which makes him feel good. Without acting helpless, allowing him see your vulnerable side will draw him closer because it unchains his instinct to take care of you. So give him opportunities to take command, and thank him well afterwards. These little things can draw out his hero side.

Offer him a job
Request him to fix or build you something. Carrying out concrete tasks is a way of bonding that boosts his sense of success.

Ask for his views
Seek his opinions, whether it's about your insurance options or the top travel destinations. It sends a message that you highly value his brain as much as his brawn.

Put on soft materials
Subtle textures like rayon, silk, and faux fur set off a deep reaction in single men. These fabrics highlight your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his passionate or romantic impulses.

Wear his clothes
It confirms that you've selected him over other guys.

Let him be
Even expressively strong single men yearn for guarantee that their individuality will hang about after they've developed into half a happy couple. By making it apparent that you don't expect some transformation, he'll feel like you really understand him and won't bully his sense of self. That leaves him enough ground to commit.

5 Principles of Success

2009-03-17T04:19:00.000-07:00

So many people share their own secrets regarding their achievements in life. Human triumph often defines principles or theories that govern such realizations. Here are five of the many effective strategies that can unlock greater consciousness for your success. These are silent laws that are fundamental to your success through all the years of your life . . . as they guide you upward and onward to higher achievements.

The law of control.

You must take the helm and be in control in every situation and at every moment. Make no mistake, either you are controlling the situation or someone else is. In today’s world, you are constantly bombarded by negative, influential forces that threaten your way of life. For your future’s sake and that of your loved ones, you cannot afford to let your guard down. There are forces that would purposely influence your way of thinking and how you react to any process. How well you are able to grasp control and stay in control of external stimulations indicates how intuitive you are.

In every situation, someone has to take control. No action can exist without someone assuming the position of overseer. You have to take responsibility and become the driving force behind the mission. In the mind of others, it is your insight, your grasp of the situation that becomes the motivation for achievement. Be in control of the forces that affect you. When dramatic changes come in your life, analyze the situation and be aware of the possibilities before making a decision. Stay in control, it’s your destiny. Don’t let someone else plot your destiny for you.

The law of observance
Always be responsive of everything that is going on around you, pay attention, be aware of the possibilities. Take note of what is not happening as well as what is. Don’t make rash judgments; be certain before you act.

The law of value
As a business owner how valuable are you to your employees and customers? If hard times beset you, would your employees and customers abandon you? Make sure to maintain an honest and reliable relationship with those around you.

The law of integrity
Certain qualities of character are unique to a true leader.. A true leader can be trusted for his/her word is as good as gold. You can take what he/she says to the bank because you know they stand behind it. Integrity is from the heart of good people. It represents quality, honesty, high morals, truth, and trust. It is the only quality in a person that they have to voluntarily give up. No one can take it from you; you have to make a choice to damage your own integrity. Once you have given up your integrity, you can never get it back. What value do you place upon your integrity?

The law of Development
Most everyone desires to be the best at what they do but few accomplish it. Why? Distractions, loss of drive, compliancy, and many other things undermine people’s ability to achieve. Even though humans are born of excellence, he/she rapidly becomes victim to worldly points of view. I can is replaced with I can’t, I will is replaced I won’t and so on. The trials of life create despair in the mind and clouds thinking. The world becomes a battleground for the senses causing a distorted perception. The world point of view is captivating and self destructive. The mind thinks it can’t be any better than it already is, yet we know the laws of development can and does elevate a person from failure to success. Success is a God trait inherent in mankind while failure is embracing the inconsistencies of the world order. Man, in his own right, can be anything he desires to be. From Janitor to President, man is what he aspires to be, what he/she has a passion for. You must elevate yourself above the temptations of the world. Be diligent, forthright and mature in your thinking, and always remember, each thought can potentially affect your quality of existence.

PHILIPPINE HUMAN RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT TOWARDS GREATER CONTRIBUTION FOR AND PARTICIPATION IN A U-WORLD REALIZATION

2008-12-01T16:23:00.000-08:00

I INTRODUCTION

In the last twenty years, the Philippines has gained some good progress in poverty alleviation. However, compared to other countries in the region, the Philippines somehow lags behind. The Filipino vision remains uncertain as many aspects of economic and social life are severely affected by political bickering, fiscal crisis, crime and corruption, ineffective educational system, human resource exploitation/exportation, moral and cultural degradation, health and environmental callousness, globalization and liberalization issues, as well as the lack of common awareness of and grassroots involvement on the national goal.

Despite our achievements in terms of our highly educated and skilled workforce, the Philippines has been continually failing to capture the national benefits of education—productivity growth and social development—an outcome with significant implications for the development of our human resources. This plan of action delves into national human resource development in the Philippines. It considers how this specific context and concomitant challenges can be used to direct national human resource development to improve the country’s competitiveness in the global market and eventually set our significant contribution in the realization of an Ubiquitous-World. The very high potential of our human resources calls for an institutionalized awakening of the Filipino spirit and resolve to carve a good image globally within the framework U-Living.

II SWOT ANALYSIS OF THE PHILIPPINE HUMAN RESOURCE DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM

The system of human resource development (HRD) in the Philippines has been independently embedded in each organizational units. Many institutions in government, business, and civil society have an inkling of human resource development. They have set up HRD units or departments. But the very use of the term, HRD, belies the lack of understanding of what it will really take to help draw out the tremendous potential of Ubiquitous Technology that lies in each and every one of us. Unlike in other countries where a unified national framework oversees the direction of HRD, human resource development in the Philippines seem to lack the cohesive strength of a national structure and environment to design and implement viable programs and reforms. The table below presents in tabular form a simple analysis of the essential circumstances that set the profile of the current Philippine HRD.

STRENGTHS:

The presence of world-class training institutions in the country such as IRRI, CLSU, UP, Ateneo, La Salle, etc... which could provide training excellence to Filipinos.

The recognized expertise of Filipino programmers and It professionals who rank among the best in the world...

The growing awareness and attachment of Filipinos, especially the young generation, to internet-based or computer-based operations in education, business, communication, industry, etc.

The existence of several key government organizations or sectors involved in the e-communication development in the country, namely<>

The continuous effort of government agencies such as DOLE, TESDA, CHED and DepEd to upgrade the quality and make relevant/competitive basic education, vocational training, professional education as well as lifelong learning for Filipinos including those from the rural areas.

The openness and adaptability of Filipinos and our educational system to modern challenges and new requirements of businesses, industries and services both locally and globally.

Recent growth in the Philippines has been impressive. It has been the highest in three decades and has gained momentum over the last three years. This trend promises greater ….

WEAKNESSES:

Financial resources from the national and local government as well as from donors are limited. ICT related expenditures comprise a very minimal percentage of the key government agencies involved in ICT development. The limited funding restricts the development of necessary infrastructure facilities and efforts to promote ICT in the local levels.

The several organizations involved in the development of ICT, e.g., DOTC, TESDA and DOST (NCC, PCHRD), do not have well-defined area of responsibilities. which results in fragmented and selective development of ICTs in areas outside Metro Manila. This also slows down the appetite of the private sector and NGOs in pursuing active participation in ICT development in the country and in the overlapping of benefits.

The digital infrastructure is present but the country, being an archipelago, makes the provision of digital access in rural, remote and un-served areas, complex. In addition, telephone and Internet services are concentrated in urban areas because of affordability problems of those in the rural areas. In general, IT facilities are still inaccessible to people living in rural areas since they still have to travel long distance to avail of long distance telephone service, Internet access and e-learning among others.

The necessary information may not be available. For instance, necessary agriculture or trade data must be put in place to make the ICT useful in spurring developments at the local level. There is more room for improvement for the Price-Watch web site from the Department of Trade and Industry (DTI) and the Bantay Presyo (Price-Watch) of the Department of Agriculture (DA) to commensurate with the needs of farmers and fishermen.

Philippines’ growth trend has improved but has been led largely by private consumption spending which in turn is heavily dependent on remittances of overseas workers. Despite strong GDP growth, there has been continued sluggishness in investments and manufacturing. The Philippines has not attracted its potential share of foreign investments, notwithstanding overall positive macroeconomic performance. The key constraints to the country’s competitiveness include: (i) inadequate infrastructure; (ii) weak human resource base due to inadequate investment in health and education; (iii) urban-based policies and public investments resulting in the narrow-based growth; and (iv) lack of competition in some sectors(from oligarchic power structures, regulatory capture, and restrictions on foreign participation).

The Philippines’ allocation for ICT and social services is low in comparison with international benchmarks

OPPORTUNITIES:

The growing demand for Filipino workers abroad due to their work commitment and language advantage.

The expansive strategies of industrialized economies to reach out and help in the development of emerging economies like the Philippines as a way of opening new markets for their technologies, products and ideas as and ensuring future arrangements for mutual coexistence in a world where barriers are gone with U-technologies.

THREATS:

Corruption in the government and its implementing agencies... Individual integrity, commitment and leadership come out, again and again, in all the issues regarding our nation’s development.

The declining quality of teachers, experts, professional, government officials, and so on who should be at the forefront of ICT promotion and e-learning establishment
Due to the limited educational level of the potential users at the local communities they are resistant to learn new technologies. This is particularly true to those living in the truly remote areas or lower class municipalities.

Worsening peace and order situation in Mindanao and in other areas as well as the unchecked crime rate in the urban areas and in other potential areas of development.

III ACTION PLAN

A. Goals and Objectives:

This action plan draws the necessary framework and series of activities that are expected to revitalize the nation’s goal of modernizing the development of human resources within the context of new technologies. The proposed project strongly recognizes and recommends the effective deployment of e-learning infrastructure as a requirement for the consequent dissemination of relevant information, effectual exposure and quality training/learning of people in almost all levels towards the attainment of an ubiquitous world. The main goal is the strengthening of the Filipino society through proper quality education, socio-technological infrastructure provision, and effective reach-out programs to rural communities and even remote potential areas.

From the main goal and fostering on the present Philippine HRD strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats, stems the following specific objectives for this project, namely:

delineate and reinforce the roles of different government agencies and NGOs involved in developing e-learning programs, e-communication infrastructure, and ICT education and skills training;

fast track the deployment and expansion of ICT or e-communication/learning infrastructures within international standards across the archipelago spanning the unserved /undeserved areas as a way of realizing universal access at very affordable cost;
strengthen the culture of excellence in significant areas of Philippine society such as governance, education and training, social services, and local employment;

redirect social awareness, appreciation and partaking in e-learning technologies down to local communities and grassroots level;

harmonize the roles and participation of public and private sectors in ICT development vis-เ-vis the growing concerns for overseas communication, mobile communication, service automation, and access to relevant information and research data.

B. TASKS TO BE UNDERTAKEN

To achieve the above-mentioned goals and objectives, the following activities should be implemented, as follows:

Conduct of survey or research on the actual status and requirements for human resource development of the country towards the realization of a U-World and present accurate information and appropriate recommendation to concerned agency (or agencies). This includes identification of municipalities still wanting the necessary ICT infrastructure facilities, including the appropriate infrastructure facilities/technology necessary or applicable;

Harmonization of the roles and responsibilities of the various national government agencies and non-governmental organizations involved in e-learning programs, e-communication infrastructure, and ICT education and skills training without the need for legislation; Identification of interim actions on issues whose final solutions would necessitate legislation;

Identification of strategically located pilot sites of U-Community Centres (UCCs) for every province as well as the hardware, software, peopleware and organizational requirements of these pilot sites;

Deployment of necessary ICT infrastructure and tapping of highly qualified professionals and managers (locally and internationally) for the proposed project;

Provision for effective extensive information dissemination/appreciation, skills training/upgrading and lifelong u-learning;

Monitoring and upholding of all the proposed HRD tasks against the drawback of corruption, lack of funds, crime and violence, and natural calamities.

C. SCHEDULE AND TIME-FRAME

Considering the current Philippine HRD status which features the shortage of ICT infrastructure, socio-economic slump, generally poor quality education and skills training, lack of priority funding for e-communication/e-learning, and the absence of a unified national framework to harmonize NGA and NGO roles and responsibilities, a five-year development plan is the initial span to cover the attainment of this project. However, the enhancement recommendation based on the survey or research to be conducted prior to the other tasks shall be considered with the particular schedule details eventually laid down.

D. COST ESTIMATES AND FINANCIAL PLAN : $10 billion

Item Gov’t Donors Total Cost
1. Consultants
a. International Consultants 0.50 1.25 1.75
b. Local Consultants 0.75 0.25 1.00
2. Equipment and Software
a. Equipment/hardware 3. 50 5.00 8.50
b. Software 0.75 1.25 2.00
3. Facilities
a. Buildings/Roads 4.00 3.00 7.00
b. Furniture/Fixtures 0.75 0.00 0.75
4. Training, Seminars, and Conferences 0.75 0.50 1.25
5. Research, Development, and Surveys 0.25 0.25 0.50
6. Miscellaneous Admini &Support Costs 0.20 0.00 0.20
7. Contingencies 0.00 0.30 0.30

E. Viability and Expected Impact

The success of this project shall have a high impact on the socio-economic conditions in local Filipino communities. The offshoot will be better educated human resources, new and higher-level jobs, faster and wide access to information and communications, improvement on the quality of education and training, greater social collaboration, and greater potential for our human resources. Beyond local impact would be the Filipino society’s significant contribution and participation in the realization of U-World.

IV CONCLUSION

Human Resource Development is an intertwined effort of society, its organizations, resources and people, and the international community. One country cannot succeed without the assistance and model of progressive nations. Our target to achieve a more efficient and effective society calls for social collaboration and mutual cooperation. These are the ideals for an ubiquitous world…

Befriend Yourself - The Centering Meditation

2008-11-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Centering is active meditation. Within you is a space that is always calm and at peace and is referred to as your "calm center". Being centered means staying peacefully calm amidst the frenzy of daily life. Centering is not allowing your inner glow to be eclipsed by stressful circumstances or negative thoughts, emotions and events.

A centered individual is in a state of clarity, focus, peace, and balance. When you are not centered, you are uncertain, unfocussed, stressed, and off balance.

A good centering method will necessitate merely nominal attention, allowing you to direct some of your attention on the activity at hand. Here are some very easy, effective centering techniques.

1. Simple Breath Responsiveness
While involved in whatever you are doing, bring some attention to your breathing for just a few moments... it needn't be your full attention... just enough to bring you back to your calm center. Breathe naturally, or perhaps just a little more slowly and deeply.
2. Regain Your Energy
When you are feeling stressed and scattered, take several slow, deep breaths. With each in-breath, imagine you are pulling all of your scattered energy and attention back to your inner self... your calm center.
3. Letting Go
This centering technique combines breath awareness with the phrase or mantra, "Let go." It is especially helpful when you are tense and/or fixating on a stressful situation or a negative thought or emotion.
As you inhale, (silently or aloud) say, "Let"
As you exhale, say "go"... while letting go of all that is stressing you.
4. Central Energy
Imagine a bright sun filling your heart chakra... the calm, subtle energy field that permeates your chest area. Imagine that sun gently emanating peace and joy throughout your entire being.

Now, try it with the meditative statements below:

Breathe in deeply all the possibilities that lie before you, and breathe out softly, any perceived encumbrances, trials or tribulations.

Breathe in completely all the guidance and support that awaits you, and breathe out gently all that no longer serves you in any way.

Breathe in fully all the freshness that sustains and nourishes you, and breathe out calmly all that has become weary and too difficult to hold.

Just let it all go, let it melt away, dissolve, disappear.

You are here now, in this moment, which unfolds before you like a flower.

And like a flower, nothing is asked of you, but that you be real, authentic, true.

And like a flower, nothing is required of you, but that you be fully present, deeply alive and profoundly aware of life all around you.

And like a flower, nothing is demanded of you, but that you be open, willing, daring, conscious.

May your day be blessed with the gifts of insight, understanding, compassion and a deep inner knowing.

May the light shine for you on those places you have hidden from view, your own or others, so that you may see, feel and know, perhaps for the very first time, the deepest truth of who you really are and why you came here.

May the grandest mysteries of life beckon to you, and may you yield to their advances and surrender to their affections.

May you ask of life that it take from you whatever it may, so that your place here has purpose and your journey be not in vain.

May you take the time to cease the inner chatter and feel the stillness in your own soul, and in that stillness may you see with new eyes, the perfection in each person and the gifts they lay before you at your feet. And may you gladly embrace those gifts and take them into your gentle and opening heart.

Your time alone is sacred, as is every moment lived from a conscious place.

May you be accompanied by Angels, precious beings from all places and times holy, and seen and unseen friends, who quietly rejoice along side of you in your awakening, those beings who want only the best for you and see you in your splendor, even when you do not.

And when you are done with this moment, may you enfold it in love and send it out into the world where it will uplift the planet, touching each person in a profound yet almost imperceptible way, like a butterfly alights upon a flower, aware of something forever changed.

For every time you breathe a little lighter, the world is lighter and the healing begins for all of us, not just for one of us, but for all of us.

When you have the courage to awaken, you do it for everyone, because you are everyone.

Fighting Right at Every Stage of Love Quarrel

2008-11-05T13:29:00.000-08:00

Such unavoidable scuffles you have with your man don’t have to set off turmoil in the relationship. In effect, when dealt with appropriately, quarrels can help you better understand and value each other. Yap, I’m serious!

Clashes with your man are not amusing, but they’re inevitable. And when they come, you may be bothered that the loving bond you’ve established in your relationship will somehow begin to grind down. I don’t think so, fighting is a necessary ingredient for intimacy. It proves that you have invested that much to want to hash something out instead of just writing each other off.

Twisted as it looks, disagreements can in fact deliver an opportunity for you and your guy to grow closer — if you handle them constructively instead of allowing them devolve into huge, repulsive nosh-ups. It takes emotional intelligence to take the anger out of an issue and talk about it productively, and many people don’t learn those skills growing up. . On the following pages, top communication, relationship, and conflict-resolution experts provide their best pieces of advice on how to avoid common quarreling pitfalls, plus crucial strategies for fighting right at every stage of a love quarrel.

PRELIMINARIES: ESCALATING MOVES

E-mailing your grievances. If you’ve been stewing over something your guy said or did, it’s tempting to fire off a bitchy e-mail or IM detailing your issues. But by doing that, you run the risk of blindsiding your guy — remember, he may be clueless to the fact that you’re upset.

Trapping him. It’s important to pick a good time to air your gripe. So if your boyfriend thinks he’s coming home to spend the night vegging on the couch and instead you rip into him the second he walks in the door about how badly he behaved in front of your friends last Friday, you’re setting him — and yourself — up. At best, he’ll offer a stunned, knee-jerk response that will likely upset you more. If you’re not both in a frame of mind to discuss the issue, nothing will get solved.

PRELIMINARIES: BONDING MOVES

Identify the real problem. Say you’re seething because he didn’t RSVP to his friend’s party on your behalf. Before you read him the riot act, spend time reflecting — maybe you feel left out of his social circle or you have concerns about his lack of responsibility or etiquette. Fighting is often about something much deeper than the surface issue. Freaking out about a specific instance (the RSVP debacle) won’t improve communication. But if you can identify what’s really bothering you, he can work on that bigger issue.

Settle evenly. Guys are biologically engineered to avoid screechy female tones...or so you’d think. Meaning, if you want him to stay in the room long enough to hear you out, you have to calm your butt down. What I suggest is taking two breaths into your belly and thinking of something good in your life so your nervous system relaxes. Taking that moment will help you remain kind, which in turn will get him to see how committed you are to finding a sane solution.

FOR THE DURATION: ESCALATING MOVES

Confining your comments. The tiff started when he came home late, but since you’re riled up, you also bring up how sexist his friends are and how selfish he is to watch TV when you’re having a bad day. Confine your discussion to one incident. Snowballing your complaints confuses both of you about what the real issue is. Keeping focused lets you resolve the argument at hand instead of creating new ones.

Avoiding repetitions. If he doesn’t seem to get why you’re so peeved through his thick skull, keep hammering it home, right? Wrong. Anytime one of you repeats yourself, it means the other person has stopped listening and put on their mental mute button. At this point, productivity is at a standstill.

Filthy shots. Sarcasm and name-calling are cheap shots. It takes maturity to stay even-keeled.

FOR THE DURATION: BONDING MOVES

Saying instead of blaming. It sounds psychobabbly, but it really works and makes people less defensive. Try it: “You don’t do any chores, so I did the dishes again!” sounds blamey, while “I feel like I’m left with an unfair share of housework, such as the dishes. What do you think about that?” suddenly opens things up for a legit discussion.

Inquiring. As your guy spells out his side, get details: “When did you first notice this?” or “What would you like me to do next time?” This shows him that you’re listening, and guys respond well when they feel respected.

Taking time-off. If things get ugly, say “I’m too upset to talk rationally. Can we revisit this tomorrow/after I work out/in an hour or so?” When you think of a fight as a talk, not a blowout, it takes the fear out of it. You both become more optimistic about handling it.

FINISHING OFF: ESCALATING MOVES

Obliging. Not all arguments can be resolved in one sitting. So while you might want to slog out the details right away, your guy may be over it — at least for the night. People in conflict have different styles of settling things and need different amounts of time to process what’s been said, and all of them are valid. As long as you’ve said your piece and feel heard, be willing to compromise with how your partner wants to handle the situation.

Requiring a perfect act of contrition. When we’re mad, our reptilian brain kicks in and wants our opponent to grovel and apologize. It’s crucial to let your frontal lobe take control and remind you that it’s the big picture — harmony — that’s important. So if he said he was sorry, take it at face value instead of holding out for him to say it the “right” way.

FINISHING OFF: BONDING MOVES

Get going. Once you’ve heard the outcome you were after (an apology, a promise to try harder, an explanation of why he feels that way, etc.), any further fighting is self-indulgent. Be willing to stop when you reach your goal. Move on

Clearing it out verbally. When you come to an agreement on something that needs to change, verbalize the specifics so you both know what to expect. For example, “In the future, if I’m going to be working past 8, I’ll call you. That way, you don’t misunderstand and wind up bickering again about the same thing.

Signing in prior to sign out. Before you walk away, say that as far as you’re concerned, the issue is resolved, then ask him if he feels the same. It conveys concern for your mate’s point of view.

DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH: DIVIDING MOVES

Keeping a chip on your shoulder. Some people blow the memory of a dispute way out of proportion. But by nurturing a grudge and holding on to your anger, you hurt for far longer than you need to.

Referencing the brawl. Making cracks about your fight-night drama in front of other people — even as a joke — erodes trust. It escalates his defensiveness, both on that topic and the next one you have an argument about. Just the mention of a sore subject in front of a third party can make him feel like he’s being attacked or belittled.

Clamoring for the final word. Say you let things go at the time, but you just thought of a great point to make or something clever you should’ve said. So you toss a pointed comment over dinner or send an e-mail “clarifying” your point of view. These actions only re-engage the entire tussle and leave him wondering if he can trust that you’re telling the truth the next time you say you’ve made peace with the matter.

DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH: UNITING MOVES

Spotlighting his finest traits. After a draining debate, spend some time dwelling on what you love about your guy — even the smallest, stupidest things, like how he always restocks the cookies when they’re running low. Contemplating your partner’s good points puts him in a more positive light in your mind, and it helps balance the stuff that’s irritating about him.

Sending a nice note/e-mail. No need to rehash the events, but bouncing him a “Thanks for talking that over” or “Again, I’m sorry, and I love you” can go a long way toward rebuilding goodwill. When you give these interpersonal gifts, the natural instinct on his part is to give you one in return at some point. It’s a gesture that only benefits the relationship.

Caressing him. A reassuring hug or back scratch can be all it takes to transmit to your guy (who’s naturally less verbal) that you’re still a tight couple. These touches are all about reassuring him and expressing your love — directly and indirectly. They say, ‘Yes, I can be angry and still love you.’” And, hey, if it leads to make-up sex, so be it. There’s a reason that variety of nooky has such a hot reputation.

Getting Through a Broken Heart

2008-11-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

Unless you belong to the lucky minority who met their soul mate in high school, married right after college, and spent the next 5 decades in marital bliss, you are going to bear what millions before you have gone through, and what millions after you will experience - a broken heart.

The hurt during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who suffer it. While some simply shake the dust off and get right back into the dating game, others are left so distraught that they never date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why the difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?

For a good number of us who experience a break-up, a normal mournful stage will come about: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they end up hospitalized, and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid of getting hurt that they never date again, closing off their hearts to just about everyone. Yet, some don't even grieve at all, subconsciously choosing to simply transfer their feelings for one person immediately onto that of another person in what is called a rebound relationship. Some people find that venting or journaling or blogging is the only thing that helps them release the pain and understand their broken heart.

Most of the variations have something to do with our loving style. There are many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately needy. While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way, another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness - feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply like the 'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often times head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love' much as an addict will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in love that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are looking for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these qualities or not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their relationships quickly losing themselves and their own sense of individuality, becoming 'the relationship'. Should the relationship end, then shall they, too.

A hale and hearty view of oneself, one's partner, and one's relationship is crucial to surviving the ups and downs in our endless search for that special someone to share our lives with.

WONDERFUL REMARKS

2008-10-31T06:53:00.001-07:00

One small remark makes a lot of difference in a relationship. One hell of a remark could get things into trouble. One wonderful remark could mean life. But remarks may not come in words uttered or written. Remarks could remarkably bare the truth and expose your person. Perhaps even silence is a remark. The lyrics of this song by Van Morrison unveils the intricate realities that come with a remark.

“Wonderful Remark” Lyrics by Von Morrison

How can you stand the silence
That pervades when we all cry
How can you watch the violence
That erupts before your eyes

You can't even grab a hold on
When we're hanging oh so loose
You don't even listen to us
When we talk it ain't no use

Leave your thoughtlessness behind you
Then you may begin to understand
Clear the emptiness around you
With the waving of your hand

Refrain : That was a wonderful remark
I had my eyes closed in the dark
I sighed a million sighs
I told a million lies to myself, to myself
Ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh

Now, how can we listen to you
When we know that your talk is cheap
How can we never question
Why we give more and you keep

How can your empty laughter
Fill a room like ours with joy
When you're only playing with us
Like a child does with a toy

How can we ever feel the freedom
Or the flame lit by the spark
How can we ever come out even
When reality is stark

Repeat Refrain

Listen, how can you tell us something
Just to keep us hanging on, yeah
Something that just don't mean nothin'
When we see you, you are gone

Clinging to some other rainbow
While we're standing waiting outside in the cold
Telling us the same sad story
Knowing time is growing old

Touch your world up with some colour
Dream you're swinging on a star
Taste it first then add some flavour
Now you know just who you are

Repeat Refrain 2x

8 Instant Mood Boosters

2008-10-14T08:51:00.000-07:00

I had a cheerful morning today. I woke up feeling good and refreshed, not the usual headache. Everything went alright with our morning activities, no hassle and no annoyances. So I whistled my way to work, quite excited with what I planned to finish because the materials I have requested were delivered yesterday afternoon. Then my cell phone rang. I checked on who was calling but the number is not on my contact list. Then the voice, the damn news and worst circumstances just got into my nerves. This whole afternoon glory was zapped away by one phone call. My whole day was obliterated. I held them responsible, I blamed the economy, I cursed dirty politics, and God have mercy…

Yes, a day of bright, shiny attitude can simply collapse with a flip of a smartphone, a browse across an email inbox or a glance at the clock or calendar. Of course, we've all been through a trauma or challenge that needs to be processed and healed over time. But do you notice that most of the things that are infuriating, disheartening or crazy-making are relatively small or entirely out of our control. Instead of focusing on the downbeat, what if we opt instead to offer our time, energy and concentration to feeling good again? What if we take a five-minute time out to get optimistic? Amazingly, it's not as hard or protracted to get to high spirits as you might think.

Whether you're mad about gas prices, scared on the melamine menace or mumbling about the boss, you can boost up your mood swiftly and easily with these 8 tips:
1. Clear your space, clear your mind.
2. Put on a little mood-lifting music.
3. Make yourself laugh (or at least grin).
4. Focus on your favorite color.
5. Mix up something good to eat or drink.
6. Stretch yourself.
7. Exhale the tension, and then inhale something that smells sweet.
8. Start over.

If nothing else helps and it looks like your day is a complete wash, why not call a do-over? If you can make the time, give yourself a half-hour (or more) to linger a little longer than usual in a warm shower. Not only will the change in your routine shake off some of the stress, studies show that heating up your core temperature can also warm up your mood. Then do some simple self-care rituals like applying your favorite moisturizer and putting on comfortable clothes you feel good wearing. Even if you have to return to work or your to-do list, at least you know you can hit the re-set button on your attitude first.

Resilience: The Process of Coming Back and Learning to Recover

2008-10-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

Recover, endure, overcome, solve, adapt, hang tough, learn, etc. These words that surface out in a brainstorming session point to one very important human ability and that is “resilience”.

Webster’s Dictionary, defines the word resilience as:” the ability to recover from or adjust easily to change or misfortune". Highly resilient people possess several similar qualities, they are inclined to be; playful with childlike curiosity, they constantly learn from experience, they adapt quickly, they have solid self esteem and self confidence, they express feelings honestly, have good friendships, they expect things to work out well, read others with empathy, they use their intuition and creative hunches, they defend themselves well, and they have a talent for serendipity.

On a more corporate view, system resilience refers to the property of being able to recover and endure. It is the measure of the persistence of systems and of their ability to absorb change and disturbance and still maintain the same relationships between populations or state variables. It is the capacity of a system to experience shocks while retaining essentially the same function, structure, feedbacks, and therefore identity. This is the ability of groups or communities to cope with external stresses and disturbances as a result of social, political, and environmental change; and the same ability of the system to withstand either market or environmental shocks without losing the capacity to allocate resources efficiently. It’s flexibility in the long run. Resilience has three characteristics capacities, namely, a) to absorb disturbances, b) for self-organization, and c) for learning. Its four aspects are latitude, resistance, precariousness, and cross-scale relations.
Knowing now what resilience is reminds you that you have it. Resilience is an emotional muscle that can grow with use and practice -- or waste away if disregarded. Everyone can develop this emotional muscle. Everyone needs to. You are born with some resilience. You have the choice how to apply it throughout your life. To grow resilience you need fuel, you need challenge and you need lots of practice.

A number of people think that resilience is a trait that is natural; you either have it or you don't. But that is not quite accurate. You are born with some component characteristics that aid and abet the development of resilience. For example, there is a contribution that temperament makes to the acquisition of resilience; some people are simply born with less reactivity to stress. It makes them hardier in the face of adversity and better able to draw on their cognitive abilities in situations that throw others off balance.

Some are also born with more optimism or are more extraverted. Still others have more guts, are more prone to take risks. All of these qualities, generally considered to be inborn components of personality, influence the ease with which you develop resilience. But determination and practice can help anyone foster resilience. It is, in fact, more a learning process than an inherited gift. What, then, do you do to grow resilience?

When life hands you a setback, readjust your own identity. Stop thinking of yourself as a victim and start thinking of yourself as a problem-solver. Flip the switch in your brain. Don't focus on yourself or your shortcomings, focus on your goal and what you need to do to get there. Ask yourself, How do I solve the problem?
Always challenge yourself to go just beyond your comfort zone. Risk builds resilience, and it's OK to take reasonable risks. The simplest way to go beyond your comfort zone is to learn a new skill. There is no end to the number of areas in which you can go beyond your comfort zone. If you argue a lot with your spouse, don't give up. Try for an understanding one more time. If you are having trouble with a child, remember how much you love him or her. The aim is to convert everyday stresses into opportunities for growth. You use them as springboards for developing coping strategies that ensure the survival of self.
Choose a hero, so that in the face of adversity you can maintain a positive identification. I know men who when facing difficulty summon up images of themselves as Russell Crowe in Gladiator. Women can summon up the story of Joan of Arc. Or think of a grandparent who survived the Holocaust.
Think of stories of resilience and stars of resilience. Search for models of resilience and study what they did. You don't have to go far to find them. The media offer plenty of possibilities: Christopher Reeve, Lance Armstrong, even Hillary Clinton. When, as a new senator, she was told that people don't like her, she smiled and said, "That's because they don't know me." I recommend to you, that you conjure up any glimpse or memory that can bring a wave of warmth to you. Grab onto them, because that is what they are there for - to see you through the hard times. Hang onto any inspiration, whatever, or whomever it may be.
Actively gather information about resilience. Ask people you know how they have handled setbacks. Build a personal support network. Include those that are positive that can listen and help you remember that it hasn’t always been this way.
Push yourself physically. Regular exercise helps you maintain a positive attitude and breeds feelings of strength. It is in fact a model of strength and what resilience feels like. It's easy to understand resilience when you experience it organically. When you run a mile, run a mile and a half. When you lift 10-pound weights, go for 15 pounds. Hold your yoga pose a few seconds longer.
Teach yourself patience. Resilience requires being more strategic and less impulsive. Give yourself more time before reacting to inflammatory situations. If someone is rude to you, don't immediately respond in kind or display contempt. Take three deep breaths before you choose to act. You need to build more space between impulse and action. By definition, when you are less reactive, you become more resilient.

"When you become detached mentally from yourself and concentrate on helping other people with their difficulties, you will be able to cope with your own more effectively. Somehow, the act of self-giving is a personal power-releasing factor."

We may be branded lazy people who do not want to face up to responsibility. Decimated maybe, but not lazy. The large majority of the people are fighters in the truest sense. We have to be curious, nosey, about what’s around the corner, the next minute, and the next day. We know that things can change in minutes. We have somehow experienced feeling desperate and defeated and to wake up somehow feeling human again.

Finally, I believe we all suffer in our own ways. Most hide it better than others do. Some are lucky enough not to be challenged in the same ways. Resolve to keep trying in whatever way you can. Sometimes that may mean just waking up and staying awake. To some this is an easy feat. Do your best - believe in yourself - only you know in your own heart who you really are. The thing that really amazes me in this life, is the resilience of the human spirit and I have been a witness to so many examples...

"The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out and meet it" (Thucydides).

Overcoming Disadvantages of Distance/Virtual Learning

2008-09-25T03:49:00.000-07:00

Distance learning allows students to learn from the privacy and convenience of their own homes. Many people who are balancing jobs and family with school enjoy the freedom of being able to schedule their classes around their lives. Most online programs allow people to work at their own pace, which means that students may take longer to complete assignments if they need extra time or can speed through material that is easy for them.

Navigating the distance learning world can be tricky. While distance learning provides more people an opportunity to attain higher education, it is not all advantages and benefits. Distance learning has costs, requires compromises and self-motivation is essential for success. However, when you acknowledge and understand these disadvantages, they are easily overcome.
Numerous studies have found distance learning courses as effective as traditional classroom training - or better. Almost a third of academic leaders recently surveyed felt online education outcomes were superior to those in traditional learning environments. However, there are challenges to be overcome for anyone who opts to learn through distance learning. As you continue your journey through the maze of virtual learning, save yourself some hassle by getting familiar of some of its disadvantages:
Self-motivation is required. Because distance learning is flexible, you need good organization, planning and work to make it happen. Students need more discipline to succeed in online courses. Though the instructor is not seated in front of you, you still need to complete your assignments on time. Like all other forms of learning, there are deadlines to be met, "fixed-time" exams to be taken and assignments to be completed before the "Drop Box" closes. There are no compromises and you can easily get a zero! Distance learning is best suited for mature motivated learners who cannot afford the time to participate in a traditional classroom. Problems arise when students have the leisure of completing classes at their own pace. Many students never finish their degree because they lack the self-discipline and motivation to sit down and get their work done on a daily basis. If you’re prone to putting off work, set some definite goals for yourself and stick to them. Many students have found it beneficial to create a deadline for receiving their degree and set smaller monthly, weekly, and daily goals that will allow them to reach that deadline.
No direct access to your instructor. Some students fear the loss of the personal touch with an instructor, such as asking questions after class. However, distance learning often gives you an opportunity to email your instructor any time or chat online. It is normal to fear the loss of human contact offered in a traditional classroom until you commit yourself to this mode of learning and communication.
Learning is isolated. Although you are in a virtual classroom full of students, the dynamics of interaction change with online education. You may feel detached or lonely when you pursue a distance learning program but there are opportunities to send emails, post to message boards and engage in online group discussions. At first you might miss face-to-face contact with your instructor and other learners, but web collaboration can fill this void for many students. One of the most rewarding experiences in education is learning through collaboration. Forming meaningful relationships with your peers and professors can allow you to learn more, stay motivated, and have an outlet to express your own understanding of subject matter. Don’t let yourself miss out on the benefits of these relationships just because your classrooms are online. Stay connected through message boards, chat rooms, email, and other virtual resources.
Need for constant, reliable access to technology. Students need total access to the equipment necessary to fulfill course requirements. For example, online courses require a computer with Internet access. For a course with material on CD or DVD, you need to have a multimedia player. Technical requirement may be difficult to meet for some students who may feel overwhelmed and challenged if they are not completely computer literate. Technical glitches and dealing with an unfamiliar learning environment can cause stress and frustration, but there are many ways to overcome these barriers.
No immediate feedback. In a traditional classroom setting, a student's performance can be immediately assessed through questions and informal testing. With distance learning, a student has to wait for feedback until the instructor has reviewed their work and responded to it. There’s a lot of online material available to help out students; make sure you know where you can get the help you need. Be aware of general resources such as virtual dictionaries, research help, and online books, as well as resources that relate to your specialized subject matter. Finding these sites from the start will save you money on books and help you find success in your studies.
Limited courses online. Students pursuing a specific certificate or degree program may not have all the necessary courses available through distance learning so it is not suited for all subjects. For example, you can study a history lesson completely online but you cannot perform nursing clinicals online. For some courses, physical classroom attendance will be mandatory to complete the course. You don’t have to start from scratch when you begin learning online. If you have credit from previous schools, make sure to have transcripts sent to your online university and have the counselors check for course equivalency. Even if equivalencies are not granted automatically, you may be able to petition to receive credit. (Just make sure you do a good job of stating your case). A few schools will allow you to receive credit for life experience, based on testing or portfolio reviews. Check with your school’s counselors to see how you can get credit for what you already know.
Specific employer acknowledgment. Although most employers do acknowledge distance learning, certain employers do not. Students who want to work for a specific employer upon graduation should be sure of that employer's perspective about online education. More and more people are recognizing the validity of online education. However, be aware that it is not completely accepted by all people. Some potential employers may see warning signs if you announce that you earned your degree through the internet. A lot of people are still ignorant of the advances online education has made in recent years and fail to recognize the difference between legitimate degrees and “diploma mill” certificates. Even if you attended a reputable school, avoid calling attention to the fact that your studies were done online. It may not make a difference, but it may end up saving you a lot of hassle.
Hidden costs. If you work for the military and you are on the ship, learning material may need to be mailed in advance thus incurring extra shipping and handling costs. The sad truth is that school is pricy. You’re probably not going to get your education for free, but make sure that the future rewards will outweigh the cost of the debt you accumulate now. You don’t want to find yourself making a $30,000 teacher’s salary while paying back a $100,000 student loan. (unfortunately, this case is not all that uncommon). However, an MBA from a reputable school may be worth a significant student loan in the long run. Whatever you choose, make sure you only take loans for what is absolutely necessary and try to save in other ways. Books and supplies can often be found at significantly lower prices (or even for free) if you know where to look and most computer and software companies offer huge discounts for currently enrolled students.
Accreditation required. You take a serious risk when you pursue distance learning programs that are not accredited because they may be issuing fraudulent, invalid degrees. Not all distance learning is legitimate - there are many "degree mills" colleges that are not accredited. This is probably the most important factor to check before you enroll in a distance learning institution. Selecting the right school is the most significant challenge distance learners face. “Diploma mill” schools charge unsuspecting students thousands of dollars for worthless degrees, whereas credentialed, trustworthy schools are able to give their students diplomas to be proud of. Before you enroll in an online school, make sure it has the appropriate regional accreditation and do some research to find out what type of programs, resources and support will be provided.
Less opportunity to work on oral communication skills. Students in distance learning courses do not get the practice of verbal interaction with professors and other students. However, online communication through email, VOIP, telephone, instant messaging maybe introduced or developed as a more efficient technological means of getting one’s message across physical barriers.

DANCING AND BONDING WITH YOUR CHILD

2008-09-24T18:05:00.000-07:00

Music is a universal language. It imbeds our daily life, weaving its beauty and emotion through our thoughts, activities and memories. Very hardly would any one abhor it. Even if we don't mind about all the different forms and genre of music, there is music we all find to be powerful, comforting, poignant, joyful, etc. As a father, you have to make the most of every opportunity to bond with your child as you possibly can. The first, most essential physical aspect of bonding is touch. You need to pick your daughter up and carry her around. Let her fall asleep on your chest and dance.

However, if all you are doing is holding her, you are not making the most of this valued time with your baby. It may be difficult to believe, but the infant you are holding now will disappear in a wink. This is a great time to dance with someone who won't criticize your lack of rhythm. You have rhythm? Well, then, you're not using your talents to impact your baby in a positive way.

Play on some music and dance. If you're really good, sing to her while you dance. Don't rush it. Invest the time to make this dance the best dance you'll ever have - each and every time you do it. Music is a natural channel for emotion. We all bond on some level when we listen to music together. Dancing employs many of the critical bonding mechanisms you need to grow your bond with your child.

Dancing engages touch, sound (music), rhythm and emotion. And if you sing or talk to your baby while you dance, she is connecting to your voice. It really doesn't matter whether you can do cha-cha, swing or foxtrot. All that is important is that you expend the time to make a connection with your child.

A lot of people advocate talking, reading and massaging your baby while she is still in her mother's womb. As long as Mom is up to it, take her dancing while she's pregnant. Start early. Remember, a good, strong bond with Mom will do nothing but help your bond with your baby. Once your baby is born, keep this connection going. Lose yourself in a soulful dance with your precious baby.

In these frenzied times, we hardly take enough time to loosen up and experience the joys life has to offer. I believe all of us would like to give our children a less intense world. That won't happen unless we take the time to show them how to be happy in simple, basic ways. High-end electronic gadgets won't and can’t do this for us. We, as fathers, must step up on the floor and dance.

I suggest that you, as a father, dance with your daughter for the rest of your life and with your son as long as he will allow it. Bond with your children with the aid of music and dance. The music of Luther Vandross entitled “Dance with My Father” speaks so. The beautiful lyrics are here below:

DANCE WITH MY FATHER

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

Five Simple and Economical Ways of Transforming Bathrooms into Luxuriant Havens

2008-08-31T19:22:00.000-07:00

Do you feel hassled and frazzled? Well, the most proximate relaxation sanctuary is right in your very own bathroom. Believe me, it’s quite simple and economical to transform your grimy old potty span into a luxuriant personal space - free from occasional disrupting interludes. So, even how immense or undersized, your bathroom can be a break-out from all the hampering drama in your life. But before you slump into your soak – here are few suggestions to put in some serenity to your bathtub and its surrounds.

Flora - Since bathrooms harbor a humid environment, plants and flowers must be wisely selected. Try plants that are verdant and require very little maintenance. Vines are preferred too, but if you fancy for something more exotic, orchids (which need more light) are a wonderful fit.
Aromatherapy – The float of engaging scents are always convivial. Smells and aromas are actually capable of inducing nostalgic memoirs – both pleasant and grim. So let’s stick with the fine recollections and kindle some fresh, clean, floral or warm-scented incense or candles to get our brain waves into the dream-weaving mode.
Extras - Take time to consider what else you might want to add to your aquatic paradise to make it as promising and feasible: a lush bathrobe, fragrant soap, loofah, terry slippers, eye gels, a bath, pillow, you favorite bath salts, gels, soaks, after bath body oil or lotion. Also bring out the kid inside, and add a hint of child play to your peaceful playground with some colorful toys.
Water – A soothing soak is a pleasure. It is a docile way to kick off the day or a lavish send-off before going to bed. And while steamy bath feels soothing, be sure the water is not too hot, or you’ll find yourself feeling worn-out and washed-out afterwards. It’s best to start with a warm bath and gradually add hot water as your body fine-tunes to the heat. When your water starts to cool down, you’ll want your environment to be warm and cozy, so keep a comfy room temperature that suits your senses.
Pamper - Just breathe. Bath time is any time. It’s a time of solitude. The bathroom becomes your personal property for the next 30 minutes. So put down your to-do list. Turn off your phone, let yourself luxuriate in this watery retreat and watch your worries wash down the drain … including deadskin.

Mind-Over-Mood Techniques of Well-Being

2008-08-04T05:20:00.000-07:00

Everybody gets angry, if not bored, occasionally. Feeling awful may be a normal phenomenon and anger may be alright, but what happens and what you do when you are angry and downcast make a big difference. Your anger might be so strong that the feeling gets out of control and causes you to act in ways that are unacceptable and hurtful. Or, the anger might be too subdued and incessant that you become overwhelmed with stress, fear, fatigue, anxiety and self-pity.

The goal is to calm yourself down and try to solve whatever problem is bothering you. You have to accept the fact that living in the world, you have to face many different things, some are good and some are bad. Even the good things may come in different forms to you. There is a good saying says that everything is a best arrangement. The secret is that the good will come sooner or later if you have seen them and if you have set your mind for them. The following simple mind-over-mood techniques could help you feel better and calmer:

Stay In the Present. Focus on things that are going on in your immediate environment. Often times worries and stress are a direct result of focusing on things that have happened in the past or being concerned with things in the future. Staying in the present can be accomplished by making a decision to focus on the simple pleasures in life, like a cup of hot chocolate, or a warm bath. You don't have to spend that much to achieve these.

Use Realistic Self-Talk. It is easy to tell ourselves that things will never get better, that there is no reason for hope, or that life is unfair. These things are simply not the case. Things may feel like they will never get better, but the fact is they usually do. It is a valuable mind over mood tool to be able to talk back to our negative inner voices and remind ourselves of reality.

Laugh. Laughter can be the result of a decision to engage in behavior that makes laughing likely. This can be implemented by watching comedies, listening to comedians on tape, or scheduling some time with a friend who makes you laugh. Using it in this way it becomes a mind over mood tool that can increase resiliency to stress and help counteract negative feelings.

Picture a Favorite Place. Using mental imagery to control our moods is nothing new. Many of us as kids, if we were unable to fall asleep at night, were told to picture something pleasant. Now, as adults, we can expand on this idea to create more control over our moods. Think of a place that makes you feel relaxed. Close your eyes and focus on this for a few minutes at a time, once or twice a day. After you have done this for several days you will find it easier to use in stressful situations, where the benefits of picturing a relaxing place can be most evident.

Practice Relaxation Techniques. There are many ways to relax. One way is to listen to music that is calming. Another is to flex each muscle, one at a time, and then relax it. A third way is to take deep breaths and allow your stomach to rise and fall, which is a way to calm your body, and can counteract our tendency to take short, shallow breaths. Whichever method used, relaxation techniques are a good way to start the day and end it, in addition to any time where you need to relax.

Pat My Back for a Breeding Hack

2008-08-04T04:41:00.000-07:00

“Have you seen my childhood?” Michael Jackson sings these lyrics with sheer emotion, somehow grimacing with the pain of lost childhood. Not everyone can handle the distress when they connect the dots in their own lives. Some suffer in silence, others cry out in disillusionment because there is such a twinge of mislaid or bungled childhood. Though we’ve always been advised to shake our heads and get over it, we could not deny the obvious impression of childhood woes (or wows) in our lives especially during adolescence. And this girl is no different...

She would show up like a placid river with that gentle flow of painful releases. She was ignored and bruised to leaving her abode or shall I call it quarters? She said she threw her clothes in her 1 ½ bags and immediately set to come back to her former place, for a vacation maybe. Here, all her childhood prodding took shape. She had a family then and much more complete without her real mother ... and father. Her grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins were physically all around her. She had the material things she needed. Everyone, in his/her own little ways, influenced her life. She thought she was the favorite, well, by her grandma perhaps. She practically grew up with her and the old woman loved her…very much. But she was taunted and mocked unwittingly by everyone else – nobody realized this somehow. She would then search for the social nod that would push up her person over her peers. And then, this placid lake (did I say river?) swirled. The inner turbulence of confusing values ran out of control. Her grandma could no longer manage her. The old woman died and at 13 she had to go to and live with her real mother.

After more than a year or maybe two, she showed up with her 1 ½ bags of clothes. She sobbed and cried out her pain and frustrations. She doesn’t want to be like her brother, she will continue with her studies with us. I had the chance to feel her soothing gentle massages over my head for that migraine smack. Of all the children I’ve met, she was the only one who could last 30 minutes (or more) of hand pressing over my aching head. She hasn’t changed and when I asked her to stop and rest, she said “call me again uncle…”. But she couldn’t last the bore of staying home for good. She thinks her friends and boyfriends are better options for filling the void in her. She left the next day midmorning without a message and came back home at midnight. If that is the arrangement she wants for her life, we have to let go.

Now, she is struggling to find her own niche. Will she rumble back to where she left? Will she blame us all for what we made of her? Have we tried our best to help her in her dilemna? Maybe we confused her, we hacked her breeding. Maybe not, pat my back … ask her mother…

Look Younger through Stress Management & Exercise

2008-05-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

The knowledge of looking younger initially entails facing and controlling stress in your life. Stress disrupts sleep which will have an adverse effect on your health, making you look more washed-out and worn-down. Too much stress can lead to high blood pressure which can swell your risk of life shortening conditions such as heart disease and strokes.

Try meditation which has been acknowledged through decades or centuries to reduce anxiety and stress. Activities such as tai chi and yoga can also have a encouraging effect along with exercise. There is nothing like a good workout to reduce stress and make you feel more affirmative and motivated. Often, increasing your self-confidence with exercise puts a feather in your rhythm and makes you look younger.

Cardiovascular exercise and resistance training will help speed your metabolism and improve your overall fitness. Not only will these make you lose weight and look younger, but will also reduce your risk of life threatening diseases such as diabetes, heart diseases.

Knowing how to look younger will require certain lifestyle changes. Without exception, the biggest cause of premature aging is smoking. So if you are a smoker your first important step is to stop. Managing stress and aiming towards a more natural healthy lifestyle will not only make you look younger but will also help you live longer and disease free. And, imagine the boost to your self confidence, when people remark that you look ten years younger than you really are!

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Studying for Work

2008-04-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

Learning for its own sake sounded reasonably grand for many people. The learned and the thinkers wallow with this credence that knowledge, in whatever form, makes a man better and makes life greater. Yes, humanity and the whole world should rise to confirm this truth. We have gone too far and even faster nowadays. The lurching continuum between physical and cyber space makes the effect of learning unimaginably feasible everywhere... well, for its own sake.

That's the macro wisdom, and it has carried the human race to this level. But for aspiring individuals in developing countries where subsistence and competition dictate the course of education and training, the game is like chalk and cheese. The initial move and the underpinning motive for these people is gainful employment. Leaning for work's sake is much more suitable.

Survival in this highly competitive modern world is guaranteed by competencies that are required by and within the standards of industries and companies. People now get hired because they are competent for the specific available job. It is how successfully you do and produce things that count. Education and training now follow this lead and the convention of general education cannot catch up with the requirements for employment. Study for work through the acquisition of specific skills - that's competency-based training (CBT) . This CBT should now sell like hotcakes for the practical learners. When you are able to get through the competition for decent jobs, when you start reaping the rewards of your competencies, go for the genuine gold in life - knowledge for its own sake. Lifelong learning could be much more rewarding with such trend.

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Studying for Work

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