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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Say NO to home repossession!

Ranch style home in North Salinas, California
Everybody knows that a mortgage is a big financial commitment and we know how unpleasant it can be when it all goes wrong. Everybody knows someone who has lost their house or, worse, it happened to you. A decision made under pressure, is often a wrong decision and that could make things worse. For example, some have let themselves be persuaded to sell their home at a very low price.

Arrears and debts are the most familiar causes for a home repossession. For thousands of people this is a daily occurrence. Illness, death and injuries are other reasons for falling behind with mortgage payments and any other debts become a burden. In these situations, time truly is money. Making things right again takes experience, advice, commitment and strong connections. Things need to get done quickly and efficiently , i.e. a family is about to loose their house and with it, maybe the rest of their happiness.

For all of us, life is very precious and we don't want sudden upheavals to destroy it. Ignoring the signs will not make the problem disappear. Not taking action early enough is sure to end in the loss of your home. Do not take a risk that will harm your credit rating and destitute you and your family.

Get some help immediately! There are reputable firms of solicitors who will advise you on matters such as how to stop any repossession proceedings or help you find suitable alternatives that meet your needs and the needs of your loved ones. There are also non-profit making organisations set up to stop unscrupulous sharks buying your home for cheap with a pretence of selling or renting back to you. You can contact them at anytime and settle a first meeting (you might get a free consultation), just don't wait till it's too late!

They also give housing advice, in terms of your rights under housing legislation. If you have already lost your home and have young children, are sick or disabled or are elderly, then you may be entitled to assistance from your local council. You may become entitled to housing benefit or are entitled to some other form of help. Professional help might just save your life .

Remember that taking action early is a key factor in averting disaster. So, to get a fresh start and prevent the court appointed bailiffs coming to your home, contact the right people and organisation! NOW!

Speaking about the bailiffs, they can physically remove you from your home. They can use necessary force too enter the property and can remove anyone living there. But there are many people who don't know under what circumstances these things should happen and how bailiffs ought to handle the situation. Till you get somerepossession help or advise, we want to offer you some information about this, because it can happen... tomorrow. The bailiffs have to act reasonably and mustn't use unreasonable force. The locks will normally be changed to ensure you can't get back in, even if you are not in the property when the bailiffs arrive. If they think you might try to stop them from getting in, they can ask the police to be present, in case there is any disturbance. The police aren't allowed to help the bailiffs with the eviction, but can and will arrest anyone who is violent.

It is hard facing bailiffs and facing up to your problems takes courage. The first step is often the hardest part! Get some help to keep your home and stop repossession!

Help Stop Repossession is a non profit making site offering impartial advice about home repossession which allows you to make the correct choices concerning your own circumstances:
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Sunday, September 13, 2009

Discover your �Giving Bee� profile

Bumblebees are all giving by nature. They give naturally to maintain the world of abundance. But each bee actually takes a different standing in maintaining the colony as well as the flower garden. So, I thought human beings are the same. We are all naturally giving and sharing. But we often express our giving in different ways. So, here it is a 'giving bee ' chart where you can find your bee type. Watch out for the following bee analysis! The more you share your value as a giving bees, the more we can do together to make a difference.

Bumblebee type analysis

1. Change-making bee A giving bee who likes to see change - who spots every opportunity to do something better and worthwhile. A change-making bee often starts up new amazing projects for others to participate in. A flexible thinker who can collaborate well with others while often taking a leadership position in making change. Many business leaders and creators are this type of giving bee. They are not afraid of having change.

2. Believing bee: A giving bee who believes in one core beliefs very strongly and inspire others to follow. Rather than changing all the time and being too flexible, this giving bee attracts people by being solid like a rock and integral to the unwavering belief and vision. Some of the religious leaders as well as political leaders are this type of giving bee. Believing bees makes for a great leader who attracts huge numbers of followers. This bee also can be a great follower who strongly supports an existing belief and excites others to come together.

3. Caring and nurturing bee: A giving bee who may not stand out as a strong leader but actually are the biggest heart-focused givers. A caring and nurturing bee is egoless in giving and is always first to take the giving action when seeing anyone in need. Though this bee seems gentle and caring, the strong desire to give and care for others drives this giving bee to present some unimagined giving acts. Many people who dedicate their lives to giving (volunteering, community service etc) are this type of bee. Giving comes more natural to them.

4. Supporting and uniting bee: A giving bee who sees the largest value in uniting and cooperating in effective partnerships. This giving bee is very focused on looking for existing great ideas, mechanisms, philosophies or beliefs to benefit the community. It tends to support what resonates with him/her more often than coming up with a brand new way. A supporting and uniting bee is less attached to own way and has more flexible mind while being quite strategic about what to support. Rather than taking immediate action emotionally, this bee sees the value in creating the long-term unity. Long-term 'quiet' charity givers and those who take low profile in community giving but stick to the same project for a long time are often this type of bee.

Buy1GIVE1 or B1G1 ( ) is the home of the most powerful, impactful and change-making giving process in the world. Buy One Give One (BOGO) is now a global 'movement' bringing together businesses, charities and consumers in a way that has simply not been done before.

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Love - The Secret to Manifesting Abundance

In times of great economic fluctuations and uncertainty, it is our nature to contract, pull in, look for cover, and try to ride out the storm. We often wait and try not to make changes, holding on tight to our present way of life until the storm passes. If we know that a storm will only last for a day or two, we are confident that we can ride it out. But even when the world is in a period of great change and the storm has no end in sight, pulling in, contracting, holding tight and waiting is still not the best way to deal with the situation at hand.

There is an old saying that "God never closes a door without opening a window." But if you are pulled in, holding on and hiding, it is hard to see exactly where a window is from which you can fly.

When you are not sure what to do or where to go, begin by going inward and examining not only where you are, but how you got there and who you became in the process. This is a time when you must look to yourself to see where you are on your "How much do I love myself?" meter. Follow that up by checking in on how much you really loved the life you were living before the storm.

When the duties and activities that have been constantly sucking in your time and energy suddenly seem to have either gone away, are no longer available, or are no longer practical, recognize how their absence has given you back the wonderful gift of time.

How often in the past, did you complain because you never had the time to do the things you wanted to do? If it wasn't work, your time was over committed because of family, personal, social, or business obligations. For many, with the tightening of the economy, those obligations are no longer affordable. Tough choices had to be made, or were made for you. The question is - what are you going to fill that time with? Look around, maybe you are not the only one that suddenly has more time. Is your life partner more available as well? Are your children no longer taking as many lessons or participating in after school activities five days a week? Or maybe it's a good friend or a treasured sibling. Yours is not the only world that is changing in all this upheaval, so who can you spend more "together time" with?

Think back on when you were a child and the things you loved to do, when the world was not quite so chaotic. Is it a discovery time? Now you have more time not only to explore yourself and your neglected interests, hobbies and passions, but the people who are important in your life. Sure, you can all sit around with your family or friends and take turns complaining about how unfair everything is and then do mind numbing activities like sit around and zone out to the TV, or you might all go into your respect corners to play games on the computer with occasional breaks to complain how unfair it is, but why would you want to? Doesn't sound like much fun, does it? Or you can take this opportunity, as you learn yourself, to teach your children, how to deal positively with tough times. You can discover ways to have fun, be connected and enjoy yourself - ways that cost nothing more than time and effort.

The more you are able to rediscover your passions, learn to love yourself and love others in new, different and more intense ways, and allow yourself to see where your passions take you, the more you will discover that abundance, in many different and unexpected ways, will start to flow into your life.

Release your attachments as to how things need to look, or should look, so that you can see all the different windows of abundance and the many opportunities the Universe is offering you.

Love, love, and love more, in all of its flows and all of its aspects, and within those flows, you will find the flows of abundance.

Go find a window.

Dr. Kevin Ross Emery is a popular author, psychic, coach, consultant and teacher. Dr. Kevin travels internationally, offering lectures and workshops to empower people from all walks of life. He's also available for phone (and Skype) consultations. Dr. Kevin's primary practices are in Portland, Maine and Haverhill, Massachusetts. Join Dr Kevin on his weekly radio show: "Outside the Box with Dr Kevin" at

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Five Ways To Turn Sports Into Team Building Games For Everyone

Sports have incredible potential as team building exercises, but they also carry challenges with them. Some people are natural athletes, but others are uncomfortable with returning to sports they might not have played since high school. The Xpeerience Group runs sports-based team building activities out of extensive facilities in Toronto’s harbor lands, including two full-sized sports fields with artificial turf. The team development group suggests five techniques to turn ordinary sports into team building games that reward cooperation as much as they do athletic star power.

Childhood Games: For older players, returning to childhood games can level the playing field, as each player will be relatively rusty. Popular team games include tag, capture the flag and dodge ball. One way to lessen the sting of being taken “out” is to change the rules so that it’s possible to bring players back regularly. For example, the “jail” system (where captured players stand in a designated area, but can be released by approaching players) can be adapted to many different games.

Cooperative Rules: All sports reward athletic ability but a few are structured so that in amateur play, a few athletes can easily dominate play. Soccer forwards (or “strikers”) can rule the game in pairs, and everyone’s experienced what a “heavy hitter” can do to a baseball or softball game. The solution? Change the rules to reward cooperation. In thrown or kickball games, add rules that require a certain number of passes to different players before scoring is allowed. In softball or baseball you can change the rules to make the pitcher a member of the batting side’s team, so that both sides cooperate to get the best hit at bat possible.

Giant Hobby Games: Once you make a traditional board or hobby game big enough it might just turn into a sport! The Xpeerience Group regularly guides teams through “supersized” versions of classics like Jenga and Connect 4. This moves the game slightly into the realm of athletic activity, but not so much that one person can confidently dominate it. In fact

Mix Teams: When it doubt, mix up the teams? This tries and true team building method is an excellent way to create a relaxed, cooperative atmosphere to any team sport. Trade half of each team with the other at the halfway point and you’ll not only get a more diverse mix of people, but you’ll maximize opportunities to socialize and prevent people from taking the game too seriously.

Unusual Sports: One way to encourage cooperation is to make every player equally unfamiliar with the rules. You can do this by choosing an obscure team sport (Wikipedia has descriptions of several) or be creating a truly off the wall variation of a standard sport. For example, the Xpeerience Group uses a game where each side tries to collect as many bandannas (tucked in players’ belts or a similar location) as possible.

Whatever you do, your goal it to get people talking, working together and having fun together – never at the expense of any single player.

The Xpeerience Group is a corporate team building games and team development group located in Toronto, Ontario. To inquire about Xpeerience Group services, visit or email

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

Safety Tips for free online dating

Online dating or Internet dating are very popular these days. But online dating has the advantages of its own, it's been misused by many and has its own disadvantages too. Online dating is fun and convienent but still one has to be very careful while dating with someone she hardly knows. Here are some tips which may help you to be safe in online dating.

Start slow.

While you are starting a new online dating over the internet, watch out for someone who seems to be good and true. Begin your online dating by communication through Emails. Before Emailing any person besure that your inner instinct is comfortable with the personal ads or online dating profiles. First send a message for the person whom you are interested, Read well and get to know more about them through their online dating profile. During the communication through emails watch out for the odd behavior and inconsistencies. Listen to the correspondent's words in email. In Online dating you must listen to each and every word carefully. Remember the person whom you communicate may not be real. So trust your inner Instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable walk away from that person for your safety.

Guard your personal:

During the online dating process never include your full name, your real email address (if possible create a seperate email address for online dating purposes). Don't give any of your personal details like home address, telephone number, work place or any other identifiable information about you. During email communication be careful about your signatures, because they have your personal details. If possible disable them. Stop communicating with the members who are insisting you for these information or trying to trick you to reveal these informations. Take time to become comfortable with someone before revealing the personal informations. Ask a lot of questions and be sure that the answers are satisfying and without any other second thoughts and meanings.

Caution and common sense.

Careful decisions generally lead to better results in dating, and this is very true with online Dating too. During the initial stages of online dating, trust yourself and never trust others. A person will become trustworthy through constant honorable, forthright beheavior. You need to test the person and take time for these before you trust the him/her, and pay careful attention along the way. Be conservative before you trust anyone in online dating. If you think someone's lying, it is likely that he/she is, so act accordingly.

Request for a Photo.

A photo will give a good idea about a person's appearance, which may prove its claims. Never trust a person by just a single picture, try to get more pictures of various locations background and poses. If the person comes up with constant excuses then the person has something to hide from you.

In online dating our safety is in our hands and mind. If our mind is not trusting others then better move to those whom we trust.

This free dating safty tips was taken from Read more articles on our dating articles,friendship articles sections.

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The Secrets of Talking to Women

Men really tend to struggle when it comes to talking to women. Tongues get tied and the brain cells start to die off the instant they try to engage a woman in a conversation. Learning how to talk to women is like learning any other aspect of dating. You need to be willing to try, fail, and try again.

For the most part, you need to give up cheesy pick up lines. Women can see right through these and know that you're not actually trying to talk to them, just pick them up. When you're learning how to talk to women, it is okay to have an opening statement or question on hand, but that isn't the same thing as having a list of quick pick up lines in your pocket. Know what you're going to say before you say it.

Think of talking to women as having a conversation, because that is all that it is. With a good attitude and a little bit of humor you can actually talk to women about anything at all. Have some confidence as this is more important than what you say. Smile. A lot. Walk upright and feel genuinely good about yourself, because these things translate back and forth into how you come off to others. Confidence and happiness are two of the most attractive features in a man, and it can make talking to women much smoother.

Don't be overconfident, aka pushy. Give her the room to decide whether she wants to talk to you. Give her physical room and don't hover waiting for answers. Be a good listener and be gracious even in the face of negatives responses.

Women like compliments and attention, but they like to be listened to even more. They will pick up on whether or not you are listening to them. If you base your responses on listening to her, she will notice and chatting with her will become a much easier experience.

We wish you the best of luck in your dating adventures!

Doug Hosein is a blogger, and all-around knowledge-junkie with a wide range of interests. He has been following the dating industry for years now and has written dozens of articles on the subject. You can view many more informative advice articles at

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If there is one objective shared by everyone in this world, whether he/she is a professional or a common man/woman, it is improving interpersonal skills. It is a bit odd that a human being should find dealing with a fellow human being a challenging task! But that is the reality of life. A famous person once remarked "I can achieve anything in this world, if only I don't have to deal with human beings!"

You may winder why the task of improving interpersonal skills should pose such a great challenge. What can be so complicated about it? This is a question that defies a ready answer. We can try to find an answer to this question by looking at the two fundamental truths about human beings.

1) All human beings are the same.
2) Each human being is different.

Any one will immediately see a contradiction. But this should be considered a paradox, rather than a contradiction. After every paradox can be real. Only, it needs to be explained.

Any attempt at improving interpersonal skills should recognize these two fundamental truths. The first task is to reconcile these two apparently divergent concepts? The statement 'All human beings are the same' conveys the fact that each and every action of a human being has a motive behind it. The motivating factor can be a need, a desire, an impulse or a reaction. The other statement, 'Each human being is different' points to the fact that the motivating factors will be different for different people. Two human beings may not be motivated by the same objective. One may do something for fulfilling a need. And another may do the same thing as an expression of his emotion (a reaction.)

The first step in improving interpersonal skills is to understand what motivates every one. How can one find this out? You need to sharpen our sense of observation. Observe a person's behavior, seek to understand it in terms of what motivates him/her, verify the correctness of your understanding through more observations and based on the results of the verification, either confirm your understanding or modify it. If you have to modify your understanding, you need to go through the verification process again till your understanding is confirmed.

Parthasarathy Rengaswami is a trainer in the area of Personality Development, which comprises several aspects like Communication, Creativity, Attitude Development, Improving Interpersonal Skills, Goal Setting, Memory Development, Public Speaking etc.

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Boost your Mood with Essential Oils

Do you often or occassionally feel sluggish or drained? Are you quite disturbed by recent hitches or maybe you’re just in need of an emotional boost. The scent of essential oils could be just the shot-in-the-arm you need.
It’s general knowledge that smell saturates our emotions and affects our feelings. “Good” smells can lift our spirits, while “bad” smells can yank us downhill or even upset us. As a matter of fact, the French word sentir means “to smell” and “to feel.” We have a propensity to “feel” scents rather than process them logically —understanding them more through associations and images than by rational methods. It’s because the human brain processes smells in its limbic region, which is principally responsible for our emotions. Amusingly, the limbic system is regularly called the rhinencephalon or “smell part” of the brain. Studies show that emotion and odors are directly related and have been established to generate some of the same electrical impulses.

Essential oils incorporate natural phytochemicals that bear impression on the limbic system. When you inhale the scent of an oil, the brain releases various neurochemicals to create physiological changes in body, mind and spirit. When you smell lavender, for example, serotonin gets released, producing a calming influence in the body.
Pure essential oils are extracted directly from plant parts, including flowers, leaves, stems and roots, as well as the rind of their fruits. Outside of their direct healing properties these oils simply smell good, make us feel happier and serve as great stress and pain relievers. The easiest and most common way to benefit from their essence is through aromatherapy—placing a few drops of diluted oil directly on your skin and inhaling the aroma. (Note: always cut the essential oil with a base oil—see suggestions below.) Or you can add drops to your bath or to a special aromatherapy diffuser, which heats the oil and allows the smell to permeate the room. Choose from a multitude of oils, ranging from bergamot (Citrus bergamia), which has a balancing effect, to sandalwood (Santalum album), which is known for its sensuous properties.

So the next time you feel the drain and slug, take this
friendly advice- mend your mood with the smell of essential oils.

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Thursday, August 27, 2009

Giving Honest Friendly Remarks

Friendster or Foe

Do you often struggle to give candid remarks to people? Or, do you always have the guts to give remarks to others honestly? They say that pretentious remarks are loud and easy while sincere comments are often kept secret or whispered subtly. Because real friendship is a silent relationship between individuals who value each other, honesty in opinions regarding your friends should be expressed in private or forever be silent. But there are risks in relationships. If you really value the other person, you have to somehow get your truth across.

Being truthful with your friends can be easier said than done at times. When you are confronted with a topic that could possibly end your friendship, you hustle between telling the truth and avoiding the truth to spare their feelings. Being straightforward with your friend becomes a tug of war of morals and salvaging what you are afraid to unveil. Here are some realistic approaches to overcome this dilemma:

Relationships are about levels of commitment or as they say in the business world your SLA (service level agreement). Remind your friends that you respect them enough to let them know the truth even if it hurts. Emphasize that your true friends tell you things you don't want to hear to save them the embarrassment of discovery from those who want to conspire against them. At times your friends will not take well your candor. Respect the way they perceive what you have to say to them and don't judge their response to you. Allow them to feel mad or upset or frustrated. Being a good friend is being honest and then being there for your friend when that honesty becomes a blow to his ego.

Keep in mind that honesty is the baseline for all healthy relationships because it gives rise to trust and trust eventually builds respect. At times it might be hard to tell your friend the truth, however if you phrase it in a manner that shows real concern and respect, you will most likely receive a warm positive feedback rather than a cold defensive response. Because people always seem to ask others about personal issues, sometimes being honest with them can come across as being mean. But if you want to help someone without being harsh you should read and try some of these tips. They will surely help your friend and also help keeping that friendship.
  • You should always be honest with your friend or partner at all times. This will help you gain trust with each other and will let the other know that you really care about each other.
  • Make sure you take into consideration the type of friend you are talking to when giving your opinion. If you know that he or she is sensitive about others opinions you should be careful about how you express yourself.
  • Always give the person CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Try not to be brash and give deconstructive opinions. If they just did a show or song and they want to hear your opinion always say something like, "That was good, it really was, but..." Never tell the person that it was downright awful or just try something different. Some call it tough love but it is really being down right mean.
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Monday, August 24, 2009

A Happiness Poem

If a happiness poem could bring forth a smile,
Then my face would always dress in style.

If my ears could hear my computer screen,
From one to another, they, too, would grin.

My keyboard types for my eyes not my tongue
This happiness poem will never be sung.

But what of my eyes? Don't they shine?
Yes, but not from this poem of mine.

The pen is mightier than the sword,
But a pen can write only words.

The feelings I sense and the senses I feel
For keyboard and screen remain far too real.

My ears and my nose remain at rest.
My cheeks and hairline are doing their best.

But if this happiness poem could make my mouth smile,
My face would forever dress up in style.

Author: David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

Monday, August 17, 2009

Ask Yourself: How Do I Want To Live?

Here is the usual question we ask kids around us, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Of course you remember that question well. And the expected answers would be given: a nurse, a policeman, a scientist, a doctor, a President, an engineer, a businessman, superhero, etc. The fact is that people have varied exposures, interests and talents. Somebody may be just as contented being an architect as a teacher. But then, I suppose the better question to raise is "How do you want to live?" Do you want to live in a manor or a cottage? Do you want a sports car or mountain bike? Do you want to live in the metropolis, in the countryside, on a farm, on a high-rise condo? The consequence here is that you have to choose what you want to do by establishing your response on how you want to live your life. Generally, people do get hold of what they ask and work for. Actually, I just stumbled upon an old friend from high school who was my lab partner in biology. He wanted to be a podiatrist, which was great since I really didn't want to dissect that swine. He did everything. Guess what he's doing today? Okay, he's not a podiatrist, but he is a neuro-surgeon. He became a doctor nevertheless. My other friend always wanted to be in the construction and now he owns a very flourishing construction firm. The next one used to hang around internet cafes, now he is in the online business - a web developer and online marketer. Think backwards and you will most likely find out that most people, who pursued what they wanted, realized their aspirations. Therefore it's so crucial to have the right goals. Pursue dreams that will give you the future you want with your career. But do not forget something that's equally important - the quality of your off-time and family life as a man or a woman. If you really love helping people, teaching children, doing social work, or being a camp counselor, that's wonderful and grand! But if you, at the same time, want to live in a huge house by the shore, then you will be dissatisfied that the teacher salary isn't going to let you live in that manner. It's a blend of what you want to do and how you want to live. Pick one of the things that you love to do, that will pay for how you want to live. As you strive towards your dream, keep on asking yourself: How do I want to live my life? There's greener trend that draws your real aspirations to your best self.

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Friday, August 14, 2009

True friends are not dream-slashers

The secret to choosing the right friendships for you,
starts with a short friendship poem by The Happy Guy

Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain't.
Friendship is life's great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you down with doom and gloom?
You will know a friendship is true
When it brings out the best in you.

It's true. You can tell a person by the company she keeps. Our friendships not only tell a lot about who we are -- they make us who we are.The friendship poem above says it all. You will know a friendship is true when it brings out the best in you.

Take a look at your friends. Do they bring out the best in you? That might seem like a silly question. We all tend to think, "Of course they bring out the best in me. I wouldn't be friends with them otherwise."

But stop and think why you are friends. Here are a few common reasons why people become friends:
  • Common background, sharing a comfort level in company from "the same side of the tracks".
  • Common current situation, being able to discuss parenting, home renovations, or some other major life circumstance.
  • Common interest, such as cards, bowling, hunting, etc.
  • For shy people, a person who actually approached you is a candidate for friendship.
  • For leaders, somebody who seems content to follow is a likely candidate. Somebody you spend time with anyway, such as a colleague, sibling, etc, often becomes a friend.
  • Somebody you see frequently anyway, such as a neighbor, store clerk, etc, could become a friend.
These are just a few reasons people choose friends. It is the easy, natural way, but it is not always in our best interest. Sure, we should always want to get along with colleagues, neighbors, siblings, and anybody else.

But we should choose our friends, the people we open up to, very carefully. For instance, even a sibling can bring you down, pooh-pooh your dreams and load you up with negativity. "Ha! You think you can teach? What do you know about teaching?"

Even well-meaning friends can be dream-slashers. "Oh, do you really think you should go into business for yourself? I mean, what about security?"

On the other hand, some friends have a way of building up your dreams. "Go for it! You could really do well. And at worst, you'll at least have given it your best shot!"

Friends will often lend a hand. "Gee, I don't know much about fitness, but is there any way I can help you reach your goal?" Dream-slashers usually don't. "Hey, if you insist on pursuing this crazy scheme, leave me out of it."

A true friendship should:
  • Encourage you to live your dream.
  • Support you toward your goals.
  • Sympathize for your losses and help you find a silver lining.
  • Build your self-esteem.
If happiness and life-satisfaction are your goals, your friends should be chosen on the basis of how well they can accomplish those four goals. Happiness is a personal choice that comes from within. But, as my short friendship poem says, it sure doesn't hurt to have supportive friendships that help us achieve our goals.

Author: David Leonhardt is author of a self-help happiness book. He also runs a Liquid Vitamins Store and serves as a SEO/SEM website marketing consultant

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Friday, August 7, 2009

Nurturing Self-Confidence

A lot of people lack coolness when dealing with other people... and for some, any structure of social situation can be awfully complicated. Social contact whether it be work-related or personal life can be stressful making you extremely uneasy and unable to function the way you usually do. For some reason, we don't always know what to say when we meet new people. It's therefore, explicable that you might lack confidence in your encounter with new people. Choosing to take control and take action is a key to renewing confidence. It doesn't have to be immense and chilling like parachuting or white water rafting; small steps on a regular basis will have a major positive impact on your life.

Take a deep breath or a number of deep breaths. This will help calm you down and think about the situation before you react so you won't react in a way that you will regret later. It also gives you a moment to think about how you would like to proceed next when you are in a stressful situation. It will also help your heart and blood pressure slow down. I then feel more confident, happier, relaxed and better able to cope with the situation at hand.

Bring companions when you have to meet new people. You will probably feel much better about meeting them if you have a friendly face beside you, because you already know that your friend knows and likes you for who you are, so it softens the potential blow of being rejected by these new people. With a friend by your side, it doesn't matter what these new people are like; you will still have at least some support.

Be with people who make you feel good and appreciate you - minimize the time you spend with those who pick on your faults and weaknesses. Building self-confidence also means taking care of you. Identify activities which make you feel good; i.e. time out for coffee, a long walk, a round of golf. Then make time to make it happen.

Tackle small risks each day - do something which you wouldn't normally do. Visit a cybercafe shop or go to see a film on your own, try out a new recipe or speak to someone in a supermarket queue. These small, positive actions will build your confidence

Write a personal journal or weblog. You can write anything you want in them. You can write down the different things that happen to you throughout the day. You can write about the things that you are grateful for and that you accomplished. You can write down inspirationally quotes or favorite sayings. You can write whatever you want. I personally like to write down things that I accomplished like a success journal. I also like to write down inspirational quotes that will make my life better, motivate me when I am in a rut, or things that make me feel happier and more self confident. Lastly, I like to write down the things that I am grateful for.

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