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Thursday, September 10, 2009

If there is one objective shared by everyone in this world, whether he/she is a professional or a common man/woman, it is improving interpersonal skills. It is a bit odd that a human being should find dealing with a fellow human being a challenging task! But that is the reality of life. A famous person once remarked "I can achieve anything in this world, if only I don't have to deal with human beings!"

You may winder why the task of improving interpersonal skills should pose such a great challenge. What can be so complicated about it? This is a question that defies a ready answer. We can try to find an answer to this question by looking at the two fundamental truths about human beings.

1) All human beings are the same.
2) Each human being is different.

Any one will immediately see a contradiction. But this should be considered a paradox, rather than a contradiction. After every paradox can be real. Only, it needs to be explained.

Any attempt at improving interpersonal skills should recognize these two fundamental truths. The first task is to reconcile these two apparently divergent concepts? The statement 'All human beings are the same' conveys the fact that each and every action of a human being has a motive behind it. The motivating factor can be a need, a desire, an impulse or a reaction. The other statement, 'Each human being is different' points to the fact that the motivating factors will be different for different people. Two human beings may not be motivated by the same objective. One may do something for fulfilling a need. And another may do the same thing as an expression of his emotion (a reaction.)

The first step in improving interpersonal skills is to understand what motivates every one. How can one find this out? You need to sharpen our sense of observation. Observe a person's behavior, seek to understand it in terms of what motivates him/her, verify the correctness of your understanding through more observations and based on the results of the verification, either confirm your understanding or modify it. If you have to modify your understanding, you need to go through the verification process again till your understanding is confirmed.

Parthasarathy Rengaswami is a trainer in the area of Personality Development, which comprises several aspects like Communication, Creativity, Attitude Development, Improving Interpersonal Skills, Goal Setting, Memory Development, Public Speaking etc.

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