Discover your �Giving Bee� profile

By: David Anttony

Bumblebees are all giving by nature. They give naturally to maintain the world of abundance. But each bee actually takes a different standing in maintaining the colony as well as the flower garden. So, I thought human beings are the same. We are all naturally giving and sharing. But we often express our giving in different ways. So, here it is a 'giving bee ' chart where you can find your bee type. Watch out for the following bee analysis! The more you share your value as a giving bees, the more we can do together to make a difference.

Bumblebee type analysis

1. Change-making bee A giving bee who likes to see change - who spots every opportunity to do something better and worthwhile. A change-making bee often starts up new amazing projects for others to participate in. A flexible thinker who can collaborate well with others while often taking a leadership position in making change. Many business leaders and creators are this type of giving bee. They are not afraid of having change.

2. Believing bee: A giving bee who believes in one core beliefs very strongly and inspire others to follow. Rather than changing all the time and being too flexible, this giving bee attracts people by being solid like a rock and integral to the unwavering belief and vision. Some of the religious leaders as well as political leaders are this type of giving bee. Believing bees makes for a great leader who attracts huge numbers of followers. This bee also can be a great follower who strongly supports an existing belief and excites others to come together.

3. Caring and nurturing bee: A giving bee who may not stand out as a strong leader but actually are the biggest heart-focused givers. A caring and nurturing bee is egoless in giving and is always first to take the giving action when seeing anyone in need. Though this bee seems gentle and caring, the strong desire to give and care for others drives this giving bee to present some unimagined giving acts. Many people who dedicate their lives to giving (volunteering, community service etc) are this type of bee. Giving comes more natural to them.

4. Supporting and uniting bee: A giving bee who sees the largest value in uniting and cooperating in effective partnerships. This giving bee is very focused on looking for existing great ideas, mechanisms, philosophies or beliefs to benefit the community. It tends to support what resonates with him/her more often than coming up with a brand new way. A supporting and uniting bee is less attached to own way and has more flexible mind while being quite strategic about what to support. Rather than taking immediate action emotionally, this bee sees the value in creating the long-term unity. Long-term 'quiet' charity givers and those who take low profile in community giving but stick to the same project for a long time are often this type of bee.

Buy1GIVE1 or B1G1 ( www.buy1-give1free.com ) is the home of the most powerful, impactful and change-making giving process in the world. Buy One Give One (BOGO) is now a global 'movement' bringing together businesses, charities and consumers in a way that has simply not been done before.

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RSVP - Where have all the manners gone?

Several decades ago in a far past culture, ladies and gentlemen adhered to a set of behavioral protocols known as etiquette. Ladies curtsied; men bowed. Ladies called in the afternoon to pay neighborly respects to one another and drink tea. Gentlemen dipped their fingers in little bowls of water between courses of moist and juicy food. The rules of etiquette served to keep people friendly and respectful of one another in daily life.

Modern culture, just like acid eating metal, puts individual interests and desires ahead of outgoing concern for other people. Soon the habits of good manners are no longer taught and become forgotten altogether.

Etiquette, or manners, today is jeered at for being selective, pretentious and inconsistent. It's true that most people no longer use finger bowls at nightly family dinners, but the basic purpose of good manners survives: Doing to others what you would have them do unto you!

Urgent Situation on RSVP

How do we get the reduced, banished remnants of etiquette back to the mainstream of society? Let's begin with a definite exercise in basic manners that everyone will be able to fulfill: the lost art of RSVP! As a way to help make your friendships last, put into practice this important aspect of etiquette.

Such strange collection of letters is normally seen at the bottom of a written (e-mail or paper letter) invitation to a special event. It is a holdover from the days when French was the universal language instead of English. RSVP stands for répondez s'il vous plaît, which is French for "please respond."

All that is required is that you respond to the person who invited you as to whether you will be able to attend the event or not. This can be done by returning the card enclosed with the invitation, by a phone call or by a note of your own. Electronic invitations are more simplified; click on a respond button at the invitation Web site or send an e-mail.

RSVP also means that the person requesting it desires an accurate count of who will be attending his or her function. By answering promptly, you are being respectful and helpful to those who organize the activity, which will allow for better planning. Good manners are beneficial to others and also to each of us. Of course, be careful with whom you will be with – he or she might not be invited or counted.

Stationery etiquette

Receiving and sending e-mails is fast, fun and practical, but writing a note on paper or in a card in your own handwriting means more. It communicates to recipient that you respect him or her enough to take the time and effort to sit down, choose a card or paper, think about the person who invited you, come up with a message and write it in your own hand. In this way you have given more of yourself and your time than it would have taken to click out a message on the keyboard. Therefore, it is more personal.

Therefore, the next time you receive an invitation to a wedding, party, shower, formal dinner or picnic, and you see RSVP, respond promptly. If you have extra time, do it by a handwritten note to show that you appreciate and respect your friends.

What Makes Men Fall in Love with You

Are there some particular moments, situations or events that make a guy unexpectedly fix on "Yes, I love her"? Oh, the answer is ambiguous, although there are some wide-ranging principles. Men have certain inherent wants that must be attended to prior to having a real connection with woman like you. When a guy concedes, knowingly or not, that you're perfect on all these levels, that's when he'll hand over.

Men have four primal relationship desires that are sometimes satisfied by your tiniest moves. When your guy is at the brink, these little things would tip him over that edge.

Seek Protection
Keeping you from harm makes him feel completely a man, which makes him feel good. Without acting helpless, allowing him see your vulnerable side will draw him closer because it unchains his instinct to take care of you. So give him opportunities to take command, and thank him well afterwards. These little things can draw out his hero side.

Offer him a job
Request him to fix or build you something. Carrying out concrete tasks is a way of bonding that boosts his sense of success.

Ask for his views
Seek his opinions, whether it's about your insurance options or the top travel destinations. It sends a message that you highly value his brain as much as his brawn.

Put on soft materials
Subtle textures like rayon, silk, and faux fur set off a deep reaction in single men. These fabrics highlight your softer, feminine nature, which heightens his passionate or romantic impulses.

Wear his clothes
It confirms that you've selected him over other guys.

Let him be
Even expressively strong single men yearn for guarantee that their individuality will hang about after they've developed into half a happy couple. By making it apparent that you don't expect some transformation, he'll feel like you really understand him and won't bully his sense of self. That leaves him enough ground to commit.

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Fighting Right at Every Stage of Love Quarrel

Such unavoidable scuffles you have with your man don’t have to set off turmoil in the relationship. In effect, when dealt with appropriately, quarrels can help you better understand and value each other. Yap, I’m serious!

Clashes with your man are not amusing, but they’re inevitable. And when they come, you may be bothered that the loving bond you’ve established in your relationship will somehow begin to grind down. I don’t think so, fighting is a necessary ingredient for intimacy. It proves that you have invested that much to want to hash something out instead of just writing each other off.

Twisted as it looks, disagreements can in fact deliver an opportunity for you and your guy to grow closer — if you handle them constructively instead of allowing them devolve into huge, repulsive nosh-ups. It takes emotional intelligence to take the anger out of an issue and talk about it productively, and many people don’t learn those skills growing up. . On the following pages, top communication, relationship, and conflict-resolution experts provide their best pieces of advice on how to avoid common quarreling pitfalls, plus crucial strategies for fighting right at every stage of a love quarrel.

PRELIMINARIES: ESCALATING MOVES

E-mailing your grievances. If you’ve been stewing over something your guy said or did, it’s tempting to fire off a bitchy e-mail or IM detailing your issues. But by doing that, you run the risk of blindsiding your guy — remember, he may be clueless to the fact that you’re upset.

Trapping him. It’s important to pick a good time to air your gripe. So if your boyfriend thinks he’s coming home to spend the night vegging on the couch and instead you rip into him the second he walks in the door about how badly he behaved in front of your friends last Friday, you’re setting him — and yourself — up. At best, he’ll offer a stunned, knee-jerk response that will likely upset you more. If you’re not both in a frame of mind to discuss the issue, nothing will get solved.

PRELIMINARIES: BONDING MOVES

Identify the real problem. Say you’re seething because he didn’t RSVP to his friend’s party on your behalf. Before you read him the riot act, spend time reflecting — maybe you feel left out of his social circle or you have concerns about his lack of responsibility or etiquette. Fighting is often about something much deeper than the surface issue. Freaking out about a specific instance (the RSVP debacle) won’t improve communication. But if you can identify what’s really bothering you, he can work on that bigger issue.

Settle evenly. Guys are biologically engineered to avoid screechy female tones...or so you’d think. Meaning, if you want him to stay in the room long enough to hear you out, you have to calm your butt down. What I suggest is taking two breaths into your belly and thinking of something good in your life so your nervous system relaxes. Taking that moment will help you remain kind, which in turn will get him to see how committed you are to finding a sane solution.

FOR THE DURATION: ESCALATING MOVES

Confining your comments. The tiff started when he came home late, but since you’re riled up, you also bring up how sexist his friends are and how selfish he is to watch TV when you’re having a bad day. Confine your discussion to one incident. Snowballing your complaints confuses both of you about what the real issue is. Keeping focused lets you resolve the argument at hand instead of creating new ones.

Avoiding repetitions. If he doesn’t seem to get why you’re so peeved through his thick skull, keep hammering it home, right? Wrong. Anytime one of you repeats yourself, it means the other person has stopped listening and put on their mental mute button. At this point, productivity is at a standstill.

Filthy shots. Sarcasm and name-calling are cheap shots. It takes maturity to stay even-keeled.

FOR THE DURATION: BONDING MOVES

Saying instead of blaming. It sounds psychobabbly, but it really works and makes people less defensive. Try it: “You don’t do any chores, so I did the dishes again!” sounds blamey, while “I feel like I’m left with an unfair share of housework, such as the dishes. What do you think about that?” suddenly opens things up for a legit discussion.

Inquiring. As your guy spells out his side, get details: “When did you first notice this?” or “What would you like me to do next time?” This shows him that you’re listening, and guys respond well when they feel respected.

Taking time-off. If things get ugly, say “I’m too upset to talk rationally. Can we revisit this tomorrow/after I work out/in an hour or so?” When you think of a fight as a talk, not a blowout, it takes the fear out of it. You both become more optimistic about handling it.

FINISHING OFF: ESCALATING MOVES

Obliging. Not all arguments can be resolved in one sitting. So while you might want to slog out the details right away, your guy may be over it — at least for the night. People in conflict have different styles of settling things and need different amounts of time to process what’s been said, and all of them are valid. As long as you’ve said your piece and feel heard, be willing to compromise with how your partner wants to handle the situation.

Requiring a perfect act of contrition. When we’re mad, our reptilian brain kicks in and wants our opponent to grovel and apologize. It’s crucial to let your frontal lobe take control and remind you that it’s the big picture — harmony — that’s important. So if he said he was sorry, take it at face value instead of holding out for him to say it the “right” way.

FINISHING OFF: BONDING MOVES

Get going. Once you’ve heard the outcome you were after (an apology, a promise to try harder, an explanation of why he feels that way, etc.), any further fighting is self-indulgent. Be willing to stop when you reach your goal. Move on

Clearing it out verbally. When you come to an agreement on something that needs to change, verbalize the specifics so you both know what to expect. For example, “In the future, if I’m going to be working past 8, I’ll call you. That way, you don’t misunderstand and wind up bickering again about the same thing.

Signing in prior to sign out. Before you walk away, say that as far as you’re concerned, the issue is resolved, then ask him if he feels the same. It conveys concern for your mate’s point of view.

DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH: DIVIDING MOVES

Keeping a chip on your shoulder. Some people blow the memory of a dispute way out of proportion. But by nurturing a grudge and holding on to your anger, you hurt for far longer than you need to.

Referencing the brawl. Making cracks about your fight-night drama in front of other people — even as a joke — erodes trust. It escalates his defensiveness, both on that topic and the next one you have an argument about. Just the mention of a sore subject in front of a third party can make him feel like he’s being attacked or belittled.

Clamoring for the final word. Say you let things go at the time, but you just thought of a great point to make or something clever you should’ve said. So you toss a pointed comment over dinner or send an e-mail “clarifying” your point of view. These actions only re-engage the entire tussle and leave him wondering if he can trust that you’re telling the truth the next time you say you’ve made peace with the matter.

DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH: UNITING MOVES

Spotlighting his finest traits. After a draining debate, spend some time dwelling on what you love about your guy — even the smallest, stupidest things, like how he always restocks the cookies when they’re running low. Contemplating your partner’s good points puts him in a more positive light in your mind, and it helps balance the stuff that’s irritating about him.

Sending a nice note/e-mail. No need to rehash the events, but bouncing him a “Thanks for talking that over” or “Again, I’m sorry, and I love you” can go a long way toward rebuilding goodwill. When you give these interpersonal gifts, the natural instinct on his part is to give you one in return at some point. It’s a gesture that only benefits the relationship.

Caressing him. A reassuring hug or back scratch can be all it takes to transmit to your guy (who’s naturally less verbal) that you’re still a tight couple. These touches are all about reassuring him and expressing your love — directly and indirectly. They say, ‘Yes, I can be angry and still love you.’” And, hey, if it leads to make-up sex, so be it. There’s a reason that variety of nooky has such a hot reputation.

Getting Through a Broken Heart

Unless you belong to the lucky minority who met their soul mate in high school, married right after college, and spent the next 5 decades in marital bliss, you are going to bear what millions before you have gone through, and what millions after you will experience - a broken heart.

The hurt during a breakup is as individual as the millions of people who suffer it. While some simply shake the dust off and get right back into the dating game, others are left so distraught that they never date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why the difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?

For a good number of us who experience a break-up, a normal mournful stage will come about: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally Acceptance. But for some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they end up hospitalized, and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so afraid of getting hurt that they never date again, closing off their hearts to just about everyone. Yet, some don't even grieve at all, subconsciously choosing to simply transfer their feelings for one person immediately onto that of another person in what is called a rebound relationship. Some people find that venting or journaling or blogging is the only thing that helps them release the pain and understand their broken heart.

Most of the variations have something to do with our loving style. There are many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately needy. While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way, another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness - feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply like the 'high' of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often times head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek 'love' much as an addict will seek a 'fix', and are often so in need of being in love that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are looking for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these qualities or not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their relationships quickly losing themselves and their own sense of individuality, becoming 'the relationship'. Should the relationship end, then shall they, too.

A hale and hearty view of oneself, one's partner, and one's relationship is crucial to surviving the ups and downs in our endless search for that special someone to share our lives with.

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WONDERFUL REMARKS

One small remark makes a lot of difference in a relationship. One hell of a remark could get things into trouble. One wonderful remark could mean life. But remarks may not come in words uttered or written. Remarks could remarkably bare the truth and expose your person. Perhaps even silence is a remark. The lyrics of this song by Van Morrison unveils the intricate realities that come with a remark.

“Wonderful Remark” Lyrics by Von Morrison

How can you stand the silence
That pervades when we all cry
How can you watch the violence
That erupts before your eyes

You can't even grab a hold on
When we're hanging oh so loose
You don't even listen to us
When we talk it ain't no use

Leave your thoughtlessness behind you
Then you may begin to understand
Clear the emptiness around you
With the waving of your hand

Refrain : That was a wonderful remark
I had my eyes closed in the dark
I sighed a million sighs
I told a million lies to myself, to myself
Ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh, ooh oh

Now, how can we listen to you
When we know that your talk is cheap
How can we never question
Why we give more and you keep

How can your empty laughter
Fill a room like ours with joy
When you're only playing with us
Like a child does with a toy

How can we ever feel the freedom
Or the flame lit by the spark
How can we ever come out even
When reality is stark

Repeat Refrain

Listen, how can you tell us something
Just to keep us hanging on, yeah
Something that just don't mean nothin'
When we see you, you are gone

Clinging to some other rainbow
While we're standing waiting outside in the cold
Telling us the same sad story
Knowing time is growing old

Touch your world up with some colour
Dream you're swinging on a star
Taste it first then add some flavour
Now you know just who you are

Repeat Refrain 2x

DANCING AND BONDING WITH YOUR CHILD

Music is a universal language. It imbeds our daily life, weaving its beauty and emotion through our thoughts, activities and memories. Very hardly would any one abhor it. Even if we don't mind about all the different forms and genre of music, there is music we all find to be powerful, comforting, poignant, joyful, etc. As a father, you have to make the most of every opportunity to bond with your child as you possibly can. The first, most essential physical aspect of bonding is touch. You need to pick your daughter up and carry her around. Let her fall asleep on your chest and dance.

However, if all you are doing is holding her, you are not making the most of this valued time with your baby. It may be difficult to believe, but the infant you are holding now will disappear in a wink. This is a great time to dance with someone who won't criticize your lack of rhythm. You have rhythm? Well, then, you're not using your talents to impact your baby in a positive way.

Play on some music and dance. If you're really good, sing to her while you dance. Don't rush it. Invest the time to make this dance the best dance you'll ever have - each and every time you do it. Music is a natural channel for emotion. We all bond on some level when we listen to music together. Dancing employs many of the critical bonding mechanisms you need to grow your bond with your child.

Dancing engages touch, sound (music), rhythm and emotion. And if you sing or talk to your baby while you dance, she is connecting to your voice. It really doesn't matter whether you can do cha-cha, swing or foxtrot. All that is important is that you expend the time to make a connection with your child.

A lot of people advocate talking, reading and massaging your baby while she is still in her mother's womb. As long as Mom is up to it, take her dancing while she's pregnant. Start early. Remember, a good, strong bond with Mom will do nothing but help your bond with your baby. Once your baby is born, keep this connection going. Lose yourself in a soulful dance with your precious baby.

In these frenzied times, we hardly take enough time to loosen up and experience the joys life has to offer. I believe all of us would like to give our children a less intense world. That won't happen unless we take the time to show them how to be happy in simple, basic ways. High-end electronic gadgets won't and can’t do this for us. We, as fathers, must step up on the floor and dance.

I suggest that you, as a father, dance with your daughter for the rest of your life and with your son as long as he will allow it. Bond with your children with the aid of music and dance. The music of Luther Vandross entitled “Dance with My Father” speaks so. The beautiful lyrics are here below:

DANCE WITH MY FATHER

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me and then

Spin me around till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me, yeah, yeah
Then finally make me do just what my mama said

Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love to dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear her, mama cryin’ for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I’m prayin’ for much too much
But could You send back the only man she loved
I know You don’t do it usually
But Lord, she’s dyin’ to dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream